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Can someone give me a list of army jargon and phrases and thier definitions?

I was looking at a list of tips for people who want to survive boot camp and one of the tips said to uncover as much of thier language as possible. Please any jargon definitions are appreciated. thanks, but I need to know what "straighten or fix your snake means" and the like

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1. 1. F.U.B.A.R. F'd up beyond all repair. 2. B.O.H.I.C.A. Bend over here it comes again. 3. S.N.A.F.U. Situation normal all f'd up.
2. This is one of those lists that will never be completed because GIs and civilians alike are constantly inventing new acronyms and abbreviations to shorten the English language. Combined with the standard (and not so standard) medical abbreviations, it's a wonder we speak whole words at all! A large number of the abbreviations in this list are dictated as part of military Board Examination reports, and are legitimate in this setting. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W Z 96er – 96-hour pass (4-day pass) AA – Alcoholics Anonymous AAFES – Army & Air Force Exchange Service abaft – To the rear of... see "aft" and "stern" abeam – Alongside (of a ship) ADS – Automated Diving Suit AEGIS – An integrated total combat system AFB – Air Force Base AFIP – Armed Forces Institute of Pathology (Afipia) AFLOATTRAGRUPAC – Afloat Training Group Pacific (really!) AFSC – A job description (similar to an MOS) aft – Rear end of a ship; see "stern" and "abaft" afterburner – Part of a jet engine AIREVAC – Airborne evacuation airframe – Parts of the airplane framework airspeed – Speed of aircraft (one word) air strike Fighter attack aircraft assigned an offensive mission. air wing – The aircraft of an attack carrier aloft – Up higher, e.g. in the crow's nest ALPAT – Alaska Patrol - USCG AMAC – Adult Men's and Children's Group (AA) amidships – In or towards the middle of a ship (one word) AOD – Agent Orange disease AQL – Acceptable Quality Level ARC – Alcoholism Rehabilitation Center; see SARC arresting cables – The cross-deck cables designed to engage the tailhook of an aircraft astern – Towards the rear or back of a ship or formation AUNK – Army, rank unknown AWOL – Absence without leave aye – Yes (or) understood BAC – Blood alcohol concentration barracks – Living spaces on base or post - see quarters beam – The extreme width of a ship or boat BEQ – Bachelor Enlisted Quarters below – On a lower deck or floor BMC – Base medical center BMR – Basic military requirements bos'n – A boatswain (a job description), need not be spelled out. Also, bos'n mate. bow – The pointed front end of a ship; see "fore" breeches buoy – A canvas seat in the form of breeches hung from a life buoy running on a hawser and used to haul persons from one ship to another or from ship to shore in a lifesaving action bridge – Ship's superstructure, topside and usually forward brig – A jail or prison for military personnel brow – Portable bridge or ramp between the ship and a wharf, pier or dock; see gangway BSC – Biomedical Science Corps (physician's assistant) bulkhead – The wall buoy – Floating object indicating a position or obstruction CAAC – Counseling and Assistance Center (Level I, II, III, etc.) CAT – Command Assessment Team CCEP – Comprehensive Clinical Evaluation Program CDR – Contractor Discrepancy Report CFO – Chief Finance Officer CG – Coast Guard (see USCG) CHAMPUS – Civilian Health and Medical Programs of the Uniformed Services -- see TRICARE CHCS – Software - Composite Health Care System coastie – Slang for a member of the Coast Guard con – The control tower, especially of a submarine. con, have the – The person in charge of the control tower. con-leave – Convalescent leave CONUS – Continental United States COTR – Contracting Officer's Technical Representative court martial – In the service, a military court of law cox'n – A cockswain (a job description), one who pilots a small boat, need not be spelled out. deck – The floor DEERS – Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System deploy – To send ships and personnel abroad for duty derrick – A boom and tackle device for lifting objects; a crane DEW – Distant Early Warning (system) DFA – Director For Administration DNEPTE – Did not exist prior to enlistment (re a diagnosis) DNIF – duties not including flying DOD – Department of Defense DPV – Desert patrol vehicle DUI – Driving under the influence (of alcohol or drugs) EAM – Emergency Action Message EAOS – End of active obligated service (reservist) ELS – Expected loss of service ELT – Emergency Locater Transmission EOD – Explosive Ordnance Disposal (Team) EOS – End of obligated service (reservist) EPTE – Existed prior to enlistment ERB – Emergency Radio Beacon EWS – Electronic warfare system fantail – The aft overhang of a ship flagship – (one word) The ship where the commander is located flight deck (two words) – Where the planes are on a carrier forward – Towards the bow funnel – A ship's smokestack GAF – Global Assessment of Functioning (scale; Axis III) GDO – Gross diagnosis only (Pathology) GI – A slang word - to clean something, e.g. "He went to GI the head." Actual meaning is "Government Inspected" GMO – General Medical Officer GQ – General Quarters (aboard ship) forward – (or - fore) front end of a ship; see bow galley – A shipboard kitchen gangway – The brow or ramp to and from a ship GITMO – Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (U.S. Naval/Marine Station) GMT – Greenwich Mean Time (see zulu) guidon – A company identification pennant hatch – A watertight cover over a deck opening HAWC – Health and Wellness Center hawsehole – A hole in the bow of a ship through which a cable, such as an anchor cable, passes hawser – A large rope used for securing or towing a ship head – The bathroom; see latrine HUEY – A type of helicopter hull – The body or shell of a ship or seaplane Humvee – All-terrain vehicle, replacing the Jeep. island – Superstructure above flight deck of a carrier JAG – Judge Advocate General jarhead – Slang for a member of the Marine Corps JCAHO – Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (not just military) keel – A longitudinal timber or plate extending along the bottom of a ship knot – A measurement of speed equivalent to one nautical mile per hour (6076 feet per hour) KTR – Contractor or vendor for outsourced work LAMPS – Light Airborne Multi-Purpose System latrine – The bathroom; see head LOC – 1. Loss of consciousness, 2. Letter of Counseling lookout – (one word) A guard on a ship; one standing watch LOR – Letter of Reprimand LR – Latrine rumor; see SB Mach number – The ratio of an object's speed to the speed of sound. An aircraft traveling at Mach 1 could be moving at about 758 mph mast – 1. On a sailing ship, the pole or spar that supports sails, yards and booms, 2. In the Navy, a disciplinary proceeding, e.g. Captain's Mast (capitalized in this usage) MATS – Military Air Transport Service MAD – Magnetic Anomaly Detector MCAS – Marine Corps Air Station MCRD – Marine Corps Recruit Depot MCSD – Medical and Computer Systems Group MEB – Medical Evaluation Board MEDEVAC – Aeromedical Evacuation mission radius – The distance designed into the capability of any ship, boat, or aircraft that includes reaching its destination and returning to its point of launch. MP – Military Police MTC – Medical Transcription Center MTF – A medical treatment facility MWR – Morale, Welfare and Recreation NA – 1. Narcotics Anonymous, 2. Not applicable NADA – Naval Aviation Depot NAS – Naval Air Station nautical mile – The length of one minute of the arc of the great circle of the earth, 6076 feet compared to 5280 feet of a statue mile. NAVCARE – A clinic name (pt must be enrolled in DEERS) see TRICARE NAVEX – NHSD beneficiaries' pharmacy NAVSTA – Navy station NCOIC – noncommissioned officer in charge NED – No evidence of disease NEST – Nuclear Emergency Search Team NEWT SUIT – A special diving suit; an ADS (which see) NHSD – Naval Hospital, San Diego NIS – Naval Investigative Service NMCSD – Naval Medical Center, San Diego NTC – Naval Training Center NOAA – National Oceanographic Atmospheric Association NOS – Not otherwise specified NUNK – Navy, rank unknown OCONUS – Outside the continental United States overhead – The ceiling P&R – Pay and Records PACU – Postanesthesia Care Unit PATCAT – Patient category PCS – Permanent change of station PEB – Physical Evaluation Board PGI – Persian Gulf Illness POC – The point or person of contact POD – Plan of the day port – A round window; also the left side of the ship portside – The left side of the ship PRT – Physical Readiness Test PTE – Prior to enlistment PTSD – Post-traumatic stress disorder PULHES – Letters of the alphabet which are used in patient profile section of an MEB report (in that order if there are more than one) QASP – Quality Assurance Surveillance Plan quarters – Living spaces aboard a ship; see barracks rack – A bed or cot radar – Radio detection and ranging range – The distance to a target roger – Understood/agree RRS – Rate, rank & service RSS – Representative sections submitted (Pathology) rudder – The steering device of a boat, ship, or aircraft SAC – 1. Substance Abuse Clinic, 2. Strategic Air Command SAIC – Science Applications International Corporation (software) SAR – Search and Rescue (Team) - USCG SARC – Substance and Alcohol Rehabilitation Center; see ARC SB – Scuttlebutt (rumors); see LR SCR – Systems Change Request screen – Ships stationed around such a unit as a battleship, Presidential plane or an aircraft carrier to protect it SCUBA – Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus Seabee – Stands for CB or a member of the Construction Battalion in the Navy SEAL – SEa-Air-Land (Team) ship's company – Everyone assigned to a ship aside from the air – crew Sick Bay – A ship's "clinic" Sick Call – A time and place where service members report for medical evaluation SIMA – Ship's Intermediate Maintenance Activity SIQ – Sick in quarters smokestack (one word) – The funnel of a ship SNF – Skilled-Nursing Facility sonabuoys – Floating sonar devices placed in the water to detect passing ships or submarines sonar – Underwater detection achieved by analyzing sound. Active sonar emits a sound; passive sonar avoids this danger. Dipping sonar can be trailed through the water by helicopters or hydrofoils. SOP – Standard Operating Procedure SP – Shore Patrol stabilizers – Fixed horizontal and vertical fins that keep an aircraft stable as it moves through the air. starboard – The right side of the ship stern – The rear end of a ship; see aft & abaft superstructure – All structures above the main deck of a ship. TAD – Temporary assigned duty TDY – Temporary duty TE – Totally embedded (Pathology) TDR/TDRL – Temporary Disability Retired List TIN – Taxpayer identification number (33-0365115) TMI – Too much information. TOMS – Temperature outside monitoring system (submarines) topside – On the top deck TPU – Temporary Placement Unit TQM – Total Quality Management TRICARE – (Navy dependents insurance; supplants CHAMPUS) UIC – Unit identification code UA – Unauthorized absence UDT – Underwater Demolition Team UIC – United Identification Code UOD – Uniform of the day URG – Underway Replenishment Group USA – United States Army USAF – United States Air Force USCG – United States Coast Guard USN – United States Navy USNS – United States Naval Ship (not a regular part of fleet) USPHS – United States Public Health Service USS – United States Ship VA – Veterans Administration watch – A turn at standing watch on ship; a lookout WESPAC – Western Pacific and Asia region wilco – Will comply wingman – A flier who accompanies another in a separate plane in a buddy system WWQ – Worldwide qualified (for duty) zulu – Greenwich Mean Time (see GMT) http://www.jargondatabase.com/Cat.aspx?id=14
3. There is plenty here: 1. Friendly fire - isn't. 2. Recoilless rifles - aren't. 3. Suppressive fires - won't. 4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. 5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down. 6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid. 7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. 8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike. 9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. 10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. 11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. 12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. 13. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. 14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack. 15. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. When they're ready. b. When you're not. 16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact. 17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan. 18. Five second fuses always burn three seconds. 19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. 20. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. 21. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard. 22. The easy way is always mined. 23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. 24. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets. 25. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you. 26. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. 27. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too. 28. Incoming fire has the right of way. 29. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. 30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat. 31. If the enemy is within range, so are you. 32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. 33. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't. 34. Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way. 35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. 36. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both). 37. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing. 38. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out. 39. Tracers work both ways. 40. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take. 41. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right. 42. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs. 43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction. 44. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up. 45. Weather ain't neutral. 46. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you. 47. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 48. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go'. 49. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue. 50. Napalm is an area support weapon. 51. Mines are equal opportunity weapons. 52. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon. 53. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone. 54. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity. 55. The one item you need is always in short supply. 56. Interchangeable parts aren't. 57. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about. 58. When in doubt, empty your magazine. 59. The side with the simplest uniforms wins. 60. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps. 61. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. 62. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep. 63. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. 64. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan. 65. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ. 66. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake. 67. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many. 68. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain. 69. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it. 70. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn. 71. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired. 72. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator. 73. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 74. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. 75. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything. 76. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp) 77. Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short. 78. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible. 79. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA. 80. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want. 81. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence. 82. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60. 83. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else. 84. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night. 85. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor. 86. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. 87. Murphy was a grunt. 88. Beer Math --> 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases. 89. Body count Math --> 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action. 90. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range. 91. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather. 92. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance. 93. The crucial round is a dud. 94. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be. 95. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole. 96. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything. 97. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you. 98. If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it. 99. If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him. 100. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target. 101. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one. 102. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out. 103. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness). 104. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work. 105. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching. 106. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel. 107. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet. 108. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains. 109. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. 110. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover. 111. Walking point = sniper bait. 112. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day. 113. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution. 114. Radios function perfectly until you need fire support. 115. What gets you promoted from one rank gets you killed in the next rank. 116. Odd objects attract fire. You are odd. 117. Your mortar barrage will put exactly one round on the intended target. That round will be a dud. 118. Mine fields are not neutral. 119. The weight of your equipment is proportional to the time you have been carrying it. 120. Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together. 121. If you need an officer in a hurry take a nap. 122. The effective killing radius is greater than the average soldier can throw it. 123. Professionals are predictable, its the amateurs that are dangerous. 124. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. 125. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it. 126. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small. (or "on order") 127. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions. 128. When a front line soldier overhears two General Staff officers conferring, he has fallen back too far. 129. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything. 130. If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn't for you. 131. Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once. 132. Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you. 133. If you find yourself in front of your platoon they know something you don't. 134. The seriousness of a wound (in a firefight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover. 135. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out. 136. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend. 137 When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be to long 138 Smart bombs have bad days too. 139 Uncrating and assembly instructions are always inside the crate. 140 If you have a personality conflict with your superior: he has the personality, you have the conflict. 141 If you enter the CO's Presence with an idea, you will leave his Presence with the CO's idea.
4. Downrange= a soldier deployed to Iraq. My favorite from basic training "this is my weapon (you poin to your gun) this is my gun (you point to your private part, even if you rfemale) this is for shooting (you poin to the weapon again) this is for fun (you poin to the private part of your body)."