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i don't know what to do...please help?

I got pregnant at 16 with my bf I've been with since 8th grade. I also have a mild mitral valve prolapse. My parents made me have an abortion on January 13th 2011. I was 10 weeks pregnant. When they did an ultrasound at the abortion clinic it was also the first time I saw it. I couldn't stop crying & my mom told me I couldn't leave. I hate myself for listing to my mom. My mom is also an alcoholic. She said I would get someone to talk to bc of abortion. I never did. I always think about my baby. It prlly looks down on me hating me. I only did the abortion bc im 16 & my mom told me I'd have to leave home & she will cut me off from everything. I didn't have nowhere to go I don't drive & no job. Everyone around me is getting pregnant. I'm so jelious of them. Everytime I find out someone ik is pregnant I get so sad and mad & I can't help but cry. My twin sister is pregnant now. My parents didn't make her do an abortion. They also gve her someone to talk to when I've been needing someone to talk to. Im totally against abortions. Idk why I did it. I'm going to hell for it. My bf stood by me. He just don't wanna talk about it anymore bc its depressing. I'm tired of having this huge secret of having the abortion. A lot of ppl think I missed carried. But in my head I'm just screaming. Right now I feel like I want to be pregnant again so bad. Idk what to do anymore. I'm just so jelious of the pregnant girls at my school. Also when I did the abortion my mom was so nice to me but after she turned into the drunk she is...someone plz give me advice

Public Comments

1. you're 16 years old ,you don't need to get pregnant.live life have fun ,don't sit around being depressed.you need a job to take care of a child and emergency money and so many other things as well in order to take great care for a baby.live life now cuz once you have a child all the fun you have with friends,going out and everything else stops.please don't get pregnant till its the right time in your life
2. Enjoy your teenage years while you can, then when your older and have a job to support a child you can have one, the girls in your school are making a pretty big mistake, their gunna miss out on their education and they wont be able to go out and have fun because they will have the responsibility of looking after a child, you shouldn't feel bad about having an abortion, the child wont hate you for it, nor will anyone hold it against you, you should go and find someone to vent your anger and sadness, if you keep it bottled up it will only make the pain worse.