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Does my English essay sound okay?

Okay, well I had to write and English essay about my idol/inspiration and I don't know how it sounds. It was my first week in high school/secondary last week and it was my first essay to write. I'm young so I don't have that much experience with words or whatever. Please don't judge me for it. Tell me what I need to change etc.. "The person I idolize greatly is Alecia Moore. She is commonly more known as "P!nk, which is her stage name.P!nk is an inspiring role model for many young girls because of her music. She has spent eleven years writing music and plans to start doing world tours again soon. P!nk's song "Perfect" was a big hit in late 2010. It most definitely inspired me in many ways. She has made me happier with her songs and they have helped me in different ways also. Her personality is my favourite thing about her. In my honest opinion she is a - genuine, funny, happy person. She had her first born child on June 2nd and named her "Willow Sage Hart", with her husband, Carey Hart. She has been with Carey for about 5 years. Their relationship is strong and they have equal amount of love for each other. Carey is an athlete and mostly performs on motorbikes. He is very skilled and talented. P!nk was going to name her baby after the Irish drink, "Jameson", if it was going to be a boy. She is clearly part Irish and has said it in an interview. She has toured in Dublin, my sister went and she enjoyed it. P!nk will always be my idol, I'm sure of it. I know some of it sounds stupid alright. But what will I change it into? Please don't insult me. :/ Thank you. Really helped... Thanks. Thank you both so much. I wish I would be able to give you 10 points.

Public Comments

1. No
2. yes dear its really good :-)
3. Just make it a little longer and it will be okay i live in florida the standard length for the fcat is 4-5 paragraphs