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What to do about a destination wedding guest list?

My fiancé and have been going back and forth on who to invite to our Destination Wedding, which will be next June. My fiancé is Canadian, and I am an American. He sent a heads up to his family a while ago to ask who would be able to come down to the States for the wedding and gave them a date. Most of them said it is very unlikely that they will make it. So, we decided to move our wedding to Myrtle Beach, about 12 hours from my hometown to get away from my family and because I love it there. We said we were going to only invite our close friends, parents, siblings, and grandparents. But now, I am feeling bad about not inviting my aunts, uncles, and cousins. Because in all honesty, I want my family there. However, I don't want to have my 40 or so relatives, and 10 or less of his, because we both feel that it would be awkward. I want to know what you all think of this situation and what you you would do or what you have done in this situation. We are not paying for the wedding, fyi. Btw, the wedding will be on the beach, and we probably won't be having a traditional reception - probably just all going out to supper somewhere. We plan on having a reception at my home for the people who can't make it (if we keep it small), and having a reception for his family up in Canada, if we can get his whole family together... they don't all live very close to one another.

Public Comments

1. My husband had a way shorter guest list for our wedding than I did. We ultimately decided that it didn't matter how many guests we each had, the important thing was that everyone that we really wanted to have there was there. Good luck.
2. My fiance and I are in kinda the same situation. We are from Texas and His family is from Florida we just decided to get married in Florida and since I'm not that close to most of my family I would only invite the ones that I am close to which is mostly my mother's side of the famiy. We have also given my family a years notice in order for them to save enough money to go. good luck and congrats
3. I would stick to inviting close friends and immediate family members, but send out wedding announcements and throw a BBQ celebration with the rest of the family afterwards. Best of luck to you. Congrats!
4. I completely agree with dark_place. The most special part of my wedding was seeing my loved ones enjoying themselves. You will regret not inviting people. If you're worried about the sides being unbalanced at the ceremony, have ushers encourage people to sit on both sides (as opposed to on the groom or bride's side). By the time the reception gets going everyone will be buddies anyway, given the size of your guest list. Of course, consult with the person paying for your wedding to make sure that you can swing the additional cost of aunts, uncles etc. You and your sweetie should then mutually agree on the size of the guest list. Keep in mind that not all of your extended family will be able to make it anyway. Congrats and best wishes!
5. I would invite whoever you really want there, including reasking his relatives. Some may decide to come. Either way, don't worry about the mix. I've been a guest at many weddings, and never wondered why there were more from the "other side". Some people have large families, some small. You try and split the guest list fairly, but sometimes it's not possible.
6. Here is what we did, and this will sound bad to some, but I thought it was a great idea. We got married in Vegas-I am American and my husband is German. No one could come from Germany except his best friend, who was his best man. On my side, I invited all of my relatives, but I have a small family, and no one could afford to bring their children-I wish they could have come. Anyway, I have friend that my sister invited to my shower, but I didn´t really want them to come because they have so many kids that this would have broke our budget. So, what I did was sent out save the date postcards to people I really wanted to be there. For the other people, they got the usual invitation sent one month before the date. Of course, these people responded that it was too expensive(hey, where there is a will there is a way). This way, they declíned, and only people that we really wanted there came. We had few guests, and people said it was the best wedding they had ever attended-very romantic and classy.
7. This is a common problem but easily fixed, especially if you are cutting the guest list to even it out not because of budget problems. 1. People probably wouldn't comment on the uneven guest list but since it makes you feel uncomforatable keep it even if you want. Hire someone to make a video of the wedding or have one of the attending guests do it for you. Go out to dinner just like you wanted. 2. Buy or just burn copies of the wedding video onto a bunch of DVD's you get at any electronic store. Hold a "reception" when you get back in the hometown for the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. It can be as casual as a backyard BBQ or as elaborate as if you had the wedding there in the first place. At the reception you can all watch the video together. Then, give out copies of the video to people who couldn't make it as favors. If you want to take this further line the aisle or something with votives, light them for the ceremony, and include these with the DVD's. You could even do a recreation of the vows for them if you wanted. 3. Write a nice letter of the experience, wish they were there, thinking of you, blah blah for the family in Canada. Send them a copy of the DVD as well with the letter, perhaps some dried flowers from the ceremony. Everybody will feel included and share the experience and you won't have to sacrifice the small, casual wedding that you and your fiancee want.
8. Yes, well, the problem is that the two of you SHOULD be paying for your own wedding, then you have what you want, where you want, how you want. You should be having another reception in Canada for his family.