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Baby Shower Guest List Etiquette Question.?

My husband is from Indianapolis, and I am from Birmingham, Alabama; he and I live in Atlanta. All of our family lives out of state (obviously). We are putting together a baby shower guest list, and we are in a quandary on how to handle those aunts out of state who obviously (especially those in Indianopolis, and other midwestern and northern states) will not be able to come to the shower. From "where I am from" you are to never invite someone if you know they will not come, but if I don't invite my husband's Aunts and female cousins, I am afraid they will be offended. Or even some of my family members who I know will not come, I am afraid I will still offend them b/c etiquette for things like this are sort of forgotten. What do I do? My Mother-n-Law says to invite them, and if anyone gets bent out of shape over it then that is their issue b/c my heart is in the right place. Can anyone advise? PS - I am posting this in etiquette and in the pregnancy section. I posted this in another section (indicated in inital question), and SEVERAL posters (and I laugh at this) misread the question to read that I'm throwing myself a baby shower... in this section, well, it seems the posters have read the question properly ... We are putting together a baby shower guest address list as it was requested by one of the three hostesses throwing me the party. I am not throwing myself my own baby shower, but I appreciate this group for reading my question and not assuming, but thought I should go ahead and make it clear as to what I meant. I know that it is inappropriate to throw myself a party, and I actually had to tell my husband's Mother from Milwaukee, Wisconsin that it is inappropriate for her to throw me one in Indianapolis (which is where she now lives). She did not know that non relatives are the only ones to throw a party.

Public Comments

1. it seems silly to invite someone you know can't or won't attend. but it's the thought that counts! the thought is the intent to include all female family members. let them feel that you are including them in the very exciting time in your life. let them decide if they are going to travel or not. make your MIL happy by inviting them - she won't have any awkward questions to answer about your poor behavior. consider letting your MIL host a small baby shower/welcome to the family party on your 1st visit w/ the baby.
2. Where I come from (Italian background) you invite them, just because they can't be there, doesn't mean they don't want to send a baby gift. If you don't invited them, it's like they are forgotten. Listen to your Mom-in-law. Congratulations and best wishes for a healthy baby.)
3. It would nice if you invite them, they are still apart of the family. Why would anyone get bend out shape, it your baby shower.
4. I feel you are assuming these people or relatives will not come if invited. Invite everyone you want to come to the baby shower and who knows you might be pleasantly surprised....(I know it's a long way, but we would like to say, hope you can drop by our way, on this very special day.....) Be prepared, get out the tents!
5. I invited family from afar for both my baby showers. Neither was attended by extended family, but they appreciated being remembered and wanted.