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Baby Shower guest list dilemna?

My best friends are planning on throwing a party/shower for me and my husband, rather than a traditional baby shower. I love this idea! However I have a sister who is obnoxious and makes my friends uncomfortable, so I was thinking the best solution would be to have a separate, more traditional shower with my family and my mom's friends. How do I bring this up to my family without making them feel like they are being excluded from my party with my friends? Also, I'm not supposed to be the one planning this, so who should I talk to about planning the smaller shower? Just to clarify on my sister, she is mentally unstable, quit taking her medication and does not put up with anyone talking to her about behavior. I cannot tell her about the party with my friends, as she will not be invited and will not attempt to understand why. She can do no wrong. I know this from 30 years of experience.

Public Comments

1. Tell your family that you are having a "girls night in" before the baby gets here....just fail to mention that your husband will be present....have it soon...then after the "night in" tell your family that your friends surprised you with presents fpor the baby because they thought you might prefer a proper shower with your family.
2. I don't think this should be mentioned at all. I think that if you have a sister that makes your friends uncomfortable, then so what? They don't have to let her make them feel uncomfortable. Another way you could handle it would be to talk to your sister. Let your sister know how she makes people feel so that maybe she can improve.. instead of excluding her and other family members from the friends shower. I think family is most important here.. that's my opinion. Like you said, you don't throw yourself a shower, let your best friend throw the shower, give her the list and don't worry so much about it. This day will be for you and your husband, not your sister or your friends. Best Wishes. ;-)
3. Instead of excluding your family, have a long, deep conversation with your sister and see what things you guys can unravel about why she insists on being obnoxious. Explain to her that this is very important to you. You might hurt her feelings a little bit, but if you never confront her, she'll always be this way.
4. Dont be a prune have the combined if theres conflict then so be it, you might be surprised at your sisters attitude, but if she is obnoxious have a talk to her about it. them us scenarios always end badly
5. Just explain to your family that one party is for friends and the other party is for family. You want to keep the parties small so it's easier on you!!
6. Just explain to your family that your friend is throwing a small shower for all your friends and that you'd also like to have a shower with your family and more than likely a family member will step up or else ask your mom, I would hope she would be glad to do it.
7. Easy. Tell your family that your friend is throwing a shower for all the girl friends and that there is simply not enough room at her home for all to attend one shower. Have a second shower for family. Just like with a wedding, this is your day and if they do not like it, sorry that is the way that it is. Hate to be so harsh. But my mother was horrible at my sons shower. She tried to push everyone around to make things the way she wanted and she was just an invited guest, she did not pay for anything or help with anything, she was not invited to my last two showers and I bluntly told her why. I had two showers last time. One for family and friends and a second for co-workers. There was just not enough room for all in my best friends home. It s really not that big of a deal, just strait tell them. Good luck.
8. why do you have to have two showers? just say your friends did a surprise shower for you and it was small. i think you would sound kinda greedy if you talked to someone about planning another shower for you...