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make a funny top 10 (or top 5) list for 'you know you're in the wrong job if---"?

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1. I'm curious to see what people put SNOWBOARDER
2. You Know You're In The Wrong Job If... 1. Your boss constantly is looking at your chest. 2. Your co-workers are taking bets on who is gonna nail you first. 3. You were told at the interview that some overnight trips with "Giraldo" would be mandatory. 4. You wife or husband says that since you started working there you wake up in the middle if the night saying "Control, V...Control,V" 5. When you get your weekly paycheck there are some funds removed under the category of misc. that no one can give you a decent reason for.
3. 1) The boss complains if you sleep more than 60% of the time you are at work 2) Your idea of being organized is multiple coloured post-it notes 3) You've been sitting at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies 4) You sit in a cubicle smaller than your wardrobe 5) It's dark on your drive to and from work, even in the summer 6) You learn about your redundancy on the Nine O'Clock News 7) More than 10 per cent of the people in your company do not know what you do 8) You know exactly how many days you've got left until you retire 9) You boss's favourite lines are:- When you've got a few minutes ... Could you fit this in ...? ... in your spare time ...when you're freed up ... I know you're busy but ... I have an opportunity for you ... 10) Every week another brown collection envelope comes round because someone you didn't know had started is now leaving
4. 5. Your boss calls you by the name of the guy who used to do your job. 4. When you get paid, you end up owing the company money. 3. You know more than your supervisor. 2. Management goes on strike yearly. AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN THE WRONG JOB: 1. You arrive at work and they have moved without telling you.
5. if your boss asks you to work late at school
6. You're a window cleaner and scared of heights you're a shepherd with aggoraphobia you're a lollipop lady at seventeen you're an author who's dyslexic you're a teacher with a stutter you work in a butchers and you're vegetarian you're a lifeguard who can't swim you're a nightwatchman and afraid of the dark you're crash testing cars and you're the dummy you work in a bowling alley and have a wooden leg