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Should people on our wedding guest list who have told us they can't attend still receive invitations?

We just sent out save-the-dates for our wedding, and a few people have told us that they already know they can't come due to vacations they have planned. Should we still send them invitations? I feel bad not sending invitations because I feel like they deserve to get them even if they can't come, but by sending invitations I don't want it to look like we're asking for gifts or disregarding the fact that they told us they can't make it. Any advice on what the proper etiquette is would be appreciated - thanks!

Public Comments

1. in my opinion, i think you should still send invites. it is better for them to know they are invited, and i think it will be rude if they got the whole save the date thing but not the wedding invitation.
2. No. Do send them wedding announcements after the wedding takes place. I knew who could and could not attend before sending invitations and only those who could attend received any.
3. Absolutely. Send them.
4. Yes, that way they know they are still in your thoughts on the big day. For particularly special ppl it can be nice to send a little something extra. eg I knew a girl haveing a beach wedding and her elderly grandparents couldn't attend. She sent them an invite, a box and a note telling them they couldn't open the box till the exact time of the ceremony. When they opened the box they found a bottle of sand, starfish and other beach and wedding momentos that made them feel special and involved even though they couldn't be there.
5. Send them an invite anyway, maybe with a note saying you are sorry they can't make it You never know, plans can always fall through and they might go after all It would be nice for them to know that they are invited anyway
6. don't send them it's a waste of money. if they want to send you a gift let them decide on their own. if you send an invitation they may feel pressured to get one.
7. Proper ettiquette would be to send everyone who received a save the date card an invitation anyway. It's considered proper so that people don't think you sent an invitation just to fish for gifts. Even if they tell you they can't come you should still send an invite just incase plans change, some relatives like to keep them, and that person knows you thought enough about them to like their presence.
8. I probably would go ahead and send them, but I would mention when I saw them that I knew they couldn't come, but I wanted them to know that they would be missed and I was thinking about them. It will probably make their day to know they were that important to have at your wedding.
9. Um hello! I'd be out raged, I mean this is the biggest most important day that you and (soon to be ) Husband will celebrate, aside from the birth of any future kids. I mean who wouldn't be able to attend?? They can't make time for this. well forget them Hells no you shouldn't spend any extra money sending them invites if they told so far in Advance that they can't come, unless of course they have a good reason why. And if they're so important that you'd invite them to your wedding then if something comes up and they can make it well then they can tell you themselves, How rude!
10. you've sent them save the date cards then you send them invitations. they were nice enough to let you know they may not be able to attend but you never know, once they get talking about it they may change their minds and their holidays and come to the wedding. send them an invitation sweetie, add a little note to say you realize they said they may not be able to attend but you were hoping they may change their minds! its makes them feel special and besides it is the right thing to do. happy wedding!
11. If these people are important to you send them an invitation. Plans might change and they might attend. If they do not received an invitation they may think something is wrong. Good luck
12. It's nice for them to have them as keep sakes. We still sent to family overseas that we knew wouldn't be able to make it.
13. The proper etiquette would be to send them an invitation anyhow. People still like to feel part of your day, even if they can't come to the wedding. :) They won't feel like your asking for gifts, I think they would feel appreciated that you still thought of sending them an invitation.
14. No dont send invites if you know already... you will save money!
15. We had this occur as well. However, we still took the time to mail invitations to these people. You just never know if perhaps their plans will change. We were pleasantly surprised to find a couple people did in fact RSVP a "yes" after all. For those that sent a decline RSVP, I would feel that they were happy to still be kept in the loop, and given an invitation anyway. We didn't see it as a way to ask for a gift...we just wanted them to know that they were still in our thoughts and in our hearts to share our special day.
16. I would still send them an invite. With a note included that says that you know they have already declined, but in case things change they are still welcome. Also, just because they can't make it to the wedding does not mean they do not want to buy you a gift. I would include in the note that an RSVP is not required unless their plans change and they will be able to attend. It may cost you an extra couple of bucks to send them an invitation but you will probably make it back tenfold. And it does not hurt to send an invitation and have them decline, but it does hurt to not send one and have them take offence.
17. Send them in case their plans change. Also, you're letting them know they're welcome to attend. Generally, people who do not attend do not feel obligated to give a gift. I can only think of 2 people on my guest list who did not attend who sent gifts.