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Need help with wedding guest list, how do I narrow it down?

I have narrowed down to groups. Family-ok with Close friends-ok with Co-workers-need help should I invite all 11 with spouses or the ones that I associate with outside of work? I feel bad about picking and choosing and leaving some out. Church family-need help I dont associate with all of the members( about 40) but I do know them, I was going there since I was a baby. But people are expecting to attend.

Public Comments

1. Top priority out of your co-workers and church family should be those you associate with more often outside of work who you feel close to. If you don't associate with someone they shouldn't be upset if they are not invited
2. If you know some co-workers socially and not others then you can invite just the ones you know socially. With the church, since it's so small you probably ought to invite everyone. Otherwise you can get away with inviting just the people you are close friends with and see often. (i.e. invite friends rather than church members). One thing you can do is to have cake and punch after the wedding for everyone, and then the proper reception can be elsewhere, and you don't have to invite the church to the reception.
3. With work you should just invite the ones you associate with outside of work. The others really won't want to go anyway but make sure they know you are having a small wedding (sometimes you do get that one person who gripes which is why you let them know). As for your church members that will be more delicate you may need your parents help letting some of them know invitations were limited to family and a few close friends. I'm guessing that they know your parents so well and watched you grow up some feel entitled to attend. Again just choose the ones you are the closest to. If anyone give you flack be very nice and let them know you wished there had been more room to invite others but between your list and your fiances not everyone could get invited. Good luck and congratulation!
4. I dont know if this would help, but we are inviting friends (the ones we couldn't invite) to the ceremony, and inviting them back later after the dinner to the reception, no one is upset about this, they all understand that it cost a lot of money, and family comes first, and they aren't even upset that mutual friends were invited. Could this be an option? That you invite your co-workers to the ceremony? And tell them you or your spouse has a lot of family, and you just couldn't accommodate everyone you would like to have for your reception
5. You need to realize that only about half of the people you invite are actually going to show up. At least that's how it has been with a lot of the weddings I have gone to or helped out with. I wouldn't invite people you don't associate with outside of your work or your church. Have you asked them if they wanted to go? If so, you need to invite them since you already asked. If you haven't asked, don't feel bad for not inviting them.
6. You invite people who are a part of your family circle or a part of your social circle. Regarding your co-workers, you may have come to know some of them well and have grown fond of them but are they a part of your social circle? Do you include them in activities with non-work friends? It's nice to bring in a cake or otherwise some sort of celebration with co-workers, but unless they are part of your circle of friends then they are professional colleagues and inviting professional connections to social events is often seen as either being a social climber or fishing for gifts. Ditto for the people at church. Couples in long term exclusive relationships should be invited as a couple, but absolutely you need not allow singles to bring a date. The Wedding Industry will advise you otherwise, but they are LYING. (Don't take my word for it, check with Miss Manners.) Every person should be invited by name -- no "&family" or "&guest" invitations. In a nutshell, you don't invite everybody you know, you invite family, and you invite those members of your social circle whom you feel close to and care about. PS The Wedding Industy also lies about children. You may invite your favorite nephew without any obligation to also invite every child of every guest. Congrats & best wishes.
7. Leave the church family out. I invited some co-workers and not others, they didn't invite me to their wedding, they didn't get an invite. I am closer with some than others and some work in my unit so they got invited. You have to invite the spouses as well, that is just proper. good luck.