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trying to keep the wedding guest list down?

i have a HUGE family and my fiance's family isnt as big. however, we are on a seriously tight budget and i am worried that feeding everyone will break us. how can i keep the guest list to just those family and freinds we are close to, so we dont go way over budget? i dont want to hurt anyones feelings by not inviting, and with our families, word gets around even if its not meant to.

Public Comments

1. I had the same issue and successfully kept the list at 40. We both have pretty large families and lots of friends. We just sat down and decided who WE wanted to have there. I did have some relatives who were not invited ask, and I just had to tell them the real reason! I explained that I did not want to exclude anyone but we could not afford to have a large wedding. Everyone knows how expensive weddings are and if they love you...they should understand.
2. You didn't say how formal your wedding is intended to be, but if the catering is a big part of the budget, maybe you could do a "potluck" type of dinner at the reception. You could set it up buffett style, and everyone could bring something. You could still have some of it catered, that way you still have the food you really wanted at the wedding, and it will ensure that there is enough to go around, but that might open it up for you a little in terms of how many you will be able to invite. Good luck.
3. Invite those family members that you are really close to. Those who do not get an invite should respect your wishes and understand how expensive wedding are.
4. We got married with just our friends in attendance ( 6 other couples, no family). We had it on a Chicago beach at sunrise, followed by a wedding breakfast. Our daughter had just immediate family, 2 mothers, 2 fathers, 2 brothers, one grandmother, MOH, and BM, on a bridge in a flower conservatory. She had a wedding dinner at a very fine restaurant. Our son got married in a gazebo in a forest preserve, also with only immediate family, mid morning, followed by a wedding brunch. All marriages are doing great, without the big circus reception. Some family members were p*ssed that they did not get invited, but that all passed when they found out that NO family was invited.
5. I had the same issue except that I am the one with the small family. Our original guest list was over 200 people. Then when we thought about it properly and discussed a serious budget, we scaled our list right back and now we have about 85 guests. 81 of the people on the first list we children so we decided an easy thing to do is have a child free wedding. We have had a few complaints but most parents are looking forward to a night off to enjoy the celebration. We told them that if they would like to bring their kids to the ceremony, that they can but please understand the reception is strictly adults only. Mind you, the only people who have complained are the in-laws! Then we thought about how close we really are to some people and decided that we haven't heard from them in 10yrs, lets not invite them either. The only people we have attending now are immediate family, extended family who we are close with and close friends. The only kids that will be there are the kids of the bridal party. This is something you might consider too when re-evaluating your wedding list. Hope I've helped.
6. that is a tough situation. but someone always gets left out! Invite those who you currently and often speak with, people you would genuinely miss if they did not show. and make a point in telling people that you have a small budget and need to keep the guest list so small or have a small wedding and reception now and plan a large party, something cheaper and informal for everyone like a bbq.