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Funny things for a loved one to (NOT) say/ask the DI while your man is in Marine Boot Camp? (AGAIN)?

My fiance is at USMC Boot Camp right now. & I've been putting together newsletters for him while he's at there. Included in this newsletter, are funny "Top Ten" lists. I need help to add to my latest topic, "Top 10 things to say when we call your DI on his cell phone." *PLEASE NOTE I ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT CONTACT HIS DI FOR ANY REASON, THIS IS A JOKE ONLY TO MAKE MY FIANCE LAUGH.* This is what I have so far, thanks to some help in my previous post. 10. My fiancé really misses his cats. Do you think we could schedule a visitation? 9. Please let the cooking staff know that he likes his pancakes stacked in two, and cut four ways (two horizontal & two vertical). 8. His muscles are too big already. Could you please not make him do any more pushups? 7. My fiancé says that when you scream and bang on the shitters, it is very hard for him to concentrate. I would appreciate it if you would leave him alone when he is trying to do private things such as using the head and rain room. 6. The DVR thingy got unplugged & Family Guy will be on in an hour. Please ask him where the red cord plugs into & call me back ASAP. 5. Ran into some trouble & had to sell his car. Couldn’t find the Power of Attorney, so I forged his name. Tell him not to worry, but if he still has that $20 to send it in his next letter. 4. 3. 2. 1. As his cavities are now fixed, please be sure that he is served slightly more cookies Any funny ideas to add to my list will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!!! :) Aw thanks USMC :) If you have any ideas, let me know!! Final list for those who care! Top 10 Things To Talk About When We Call Your DI’s Cell Phone… 10. My fiancé really misses his cats. Do you think we could schedule a visitation? 9. Please let the cooking staff know that he likes his pancakes stacked in two, cut four ways (two horizontal & two vertical.) 8. His muscles are too big already. Could you please not make him do any more pushups? 7. He says that when you scream and bang on the shitters, it’s very hard for him to concentrate. I would appreciate it if you would leave him alone when he’s attending private matters such as using the head and rain room. 6. The DVR thingy isn’t working and Family Guy will be on in an hour. Please ask him where the red cord plugs into & call me back ASAP. 5. Ran into some trouble & had to sell his car. Couldn’t find the Power of Attorney, so I forged his signature. Tell him not to worry, but if he still has that $20 he left with to send it in his next letter. 4. I’m sure you guys are busy playing soldier boy during the week, but please talk to the folks who bunk around my fiancé & ask if they could hold it down on the weekends. He enjoys sleeping in, especially on Sundays. 3. I need the address I can send my dad’s old Army boots to so that my fiancé can wear them when you’re all out playing in the mud. This would cut down on the time he spends cleaning boots, allowing more time for things that really matter to him such as writing letters. 2. Let me know as soon as I can send his own boxers, like his Spongebobs. They’re softer than the issued undies & will keep his junk from falling out, making the marching & running much more comfortable for him. 1. As his cavities are now fixed, please be sure that he is served slightly more cookies.

Public Comments

1. haha this is hilarious. keep posting them when you are finished
2. In Basic, if someone had their rank wrong on the Envelope, the DI made them do push ups. So when My friends went, I would send them letters addressed to SGT Lastname, or CPT Lastname... instead of PVT Lastname
3. It would be greatly appreciated if while he was in basic training you could teach him to put the toilet seat down after use and the importance of sharing the TV remote.