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Please help me with parents problem!!!!?

I know this is kind of long but please bear with it! Ok, so I'm about to become a senior in college and I go to college in the same town where I live. Basically, I'm not enjoying college at all because my parents are the typical Asian parents and they don't let me do any school activities or let me out to socialize either. I always get good grades in school and I am going to graduate on time with a degree in finance in one of the top 10 business schools. However, I have a lot of group projects and I usually don't get home until 11 PM to 2 AM because my groups usually meet in the evening. Everytime I get home my parents think I am out partying or hanging out with friends and they start yelling at me for it. It got to the point where my parents even followed me to one of my group projects to make sure I actually did have one which thoroughly embarrassed me. Next year, I plan to move out with one of my good friends and I already told my parents I would pay for my rent, food, furniture, and everything else that deals with the apartment and my mom wants me gone which I don't understand why because I don't drink or do drugs or anything. My mom isn't a good person either because she cheated on my dad and blamed it on me because I drive her crazy apparently. Anyways, since I want to move out my parents have been threatening to cut out my book tuition, car insurance, and even cut me off from my dad's health care insurance from work. I need help with these things because I need to work and I already calculated how much I would need and things but I still need help from my parents because I don't have enough money to cover everything. How should I go about asking for help? Do my parents really want me to starve or something? How come they are trying to make me miserable? -Emotionally Traumatized by parents

Public Comments

  1. Well, in my opinion, there could be culture involved here? maybe? But beyond that, i think that YOU need to talk to a counselor, to help yourself and get on some solid ground here. In the meantime, you have endured this for a long time, i would continue to do so, keep a low profile, honor your parents and get some counseling as to how to help yourself to deal with this, and what to do next, if anything. Good luck
  2. there not trying to make u miserable! trust me. it may seem like that .. but basically as uve mentioned to ur parents u want to move out! they go pear shapes! in there eyes riight they dont want to c u move out.. ur there baby!! in which is y there making it hard for u to do these things! its simple they dnt want u too . :./ hmm bt like yeh .. and no they dnt want you to starve to death silly! they dnt want u to leave just yet, its a big thing for parents to c there child grow up etc. x
  3. at your age you should have a place of your own........... but if you are going to live with your parents and under their roof..... then you must abide by their rules/guidelines and take whatever they may dish out to you........
  4. ok i wouldnt recommend going to talk to your mom. go to your dad and just explain to him about everything you have said here. tell him how you feel. i think there is just a huge lack of trust
  5. Wow. I totally feel for you. I am not Asian, but I have observed a bit of Asian culture when it comes to education and being protective of their children. It is what they feel is best, and they are doing it with the most honorable intentions for you. As somebody once told me, "you've got to go to grow!" Based on the information in your post, you are really unable to grow up and do the things you want to do. In that case, it is time for you to go. In doing this, you may cause hurt to your parents, but there comes a point in life where you have to stand up on your own and do what is best for you. What do I mean by game plan? Well, figure out how you will support yourself, where will you work, and what people will be in your support system. This may take some time to figure out. Realistically, you may have to suck-it-up for a little while longer, especially if you need your tuition paid! Your plan could be something that may be with the "blessing" of your parents. Sounds like you are smart...perhaps you can get a fellowship or grad assistantship to a graduate program out-of-state. That way, you will be continuing your studies, which may be pleasing to your parents, and be away from them, which will be pleasing to you! Whatever happens, continue to get your degree so you can get a job that will enable you to stand on your own without the help of your parents. I wish you well!
  6. Regarding Health Insurance alternatives: If you are in college, you may want to check out health insurance programs that are written through your school. United Healthcare has a plan available at many US schools. These student injury and illness plans provide wide ranging coverage and are designed to be affordable for college students. To check if your school is participating, go to www.UHCSR.com and enter your school name in the search box. You might also be interested in joining the American College Student Association (ACSA), a national organization for college students. They have lots of member benefits, including student health insurance. Their membership fee is affordable.
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