Latest Lists - Mother disowns me for college choice?

Mother disowns me for college choice?

I am 18 years old. I was recently accepted to every school I applied to, but narrowed it down to CUNY Baruch, and SUNY albany. I've been to both campuses, and SUNY albany is nice, but has a terrible reputation of being a party school, and has a large amount of drug, alcohol, and other violations issued to students each year. I live in brooklyn, and CUNY barcuh is among the best public universities in the entire nation, and one of the top business schools. I am not completely sure what I want to major in yet, but I decided to go to Baruch. When I told my mother, she went into a raging fit, telling me that I will never experience life If I stay at home for college. She started crying, and telling me that if I finalize this choice, she will disown me, and even divorce my father. I want to go to the college that is best for me, but I don't want to destroy my family. I also have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. What should I do? Thanks in advance, I am really distraught over the whole situation. Just to make it clear, I still have 2 days to finalize the choice. My relationship with my mother was always fine, she just really wanted me to go to albany, and she believes that my father is trying to... I guess you could say "trick" me into going to a different school just because it is cheaper, not because it is a better value.

Public Comments

do what you truly want to do its ur life not ur moms LIVE UR LIFE I wish you the besat of luucck
Wow, that is a really unstable reaction from her! Are you really sure that "you will never experience life if you stay at college" is the real reason why she had such a big fit? From an outsider point of view, it seems to me, that this is just an excuse. Something else seems to bother her. How is your father reacting to it? What is his opinion?
who is paying for this school? You or her? Consider that in making your decision!
thats a crazy situation. what is our relationship like with your mother that she doesnt want u to stay near home for college. tell her u are only as close to home as u want to be. i go to college about an hour from school but i hardly ever go home. also, why would she divorce your father for your choice of college.
You go where you feel the best fit is. Your mom can suck it up and stop being a baby. However, if you got into Geneseo, go there. Period.
.......if you have lived in the same place most your life, i wouldn't blame her, i have met people who have mainly stayed in one area, I F-ing hate them they are so small minded and experienced it is retarded! ....any way i only have 12 more states till i have been to them all, and it was worth it, ur mom won't back up her claims but she will be pissed and start alot of drama over it for a little while
Well it's your life...do what you want..if you want to go to that college than you can.Your mom is being really selfish but then again she could be saying it out of anger...do what you want with your life u only got one to live!
I think she may have overreacted a little bit. Sit down with your mother and ask her what she thinks is a good idea for you and try to negotiate around that.
You need to pick the college that is best for you. Now i know that you don't want to "destroy" the family, but come on lets me reasonable here. If your mom would really divorce your father because of the college you chose to go to then there are obviously something negative going on between your parents that you don't know about and this is just a way for your mom to play the victim card and blame it on you. Or it is just a threat to get you to move away to a different college and she is trying to guilt trip you into picking the school that she wants you to pick. And best of luck to you and picking a college!
?? Dude your mom wants you to go out and expirience the world, even the best education can't even begin to teach you what moving away from home will teach you. I have learned way more by not being at home than I ever have from my university. (and I learn a lot in class!) I feel really,really sorry for all the kids who are still living at home at 20, what a boring-ass life. They're not too mature, or smart either. I really can't talk to them like I can with people who have lived all over the place like I have. :) Home sucks </3 Go to SUNY!!! That place sounds bomb. You're gonna learn more trying to survive in the dorms than anything else. You could ask your mom if you could live on campus there and not at home. You'll probably be dying to expirence more by the end of your freshman year- but you could always transfer for your junior year.
Do whatever you want. Your mother may be upset at the moment but she will come around. Seeing you happy and succeed in life may make her see that maybe your choice wasn't so bad. You shouldn't let her tell you were you should go to school. Choose to go to school where you believe you can fit in the most and thrive at. Just choose which ever you want because otherwise you will regret it later on in life. Then who will be there to suffer regretting it. Just you and not your mother. And as for the divorce thing, I do not think your mother would really divorce your father. I mean I don't think she would give up her marriage because you are upsetting her. I'm thinking this is just something to make you think. I guess she is just desperate to try to get you to decide her way. Maybe you should have a conversation with her and explain why you want to go to school where you want to. Maybe that will smooth things over. I hope you work this out with your mother and you make the right decision.
Attend the college you want. Refuse to listen to your mother. She loves to create drama
Your mom's reaction was way out of proportion. Threatening to disown you and divorce your father over it is plain nuts. I mean really... most parents are cool with their kids staying home while going to college... it saves a lot on housing expenses. Actually, since you still don't know your major, you could save more money by doing most of the core courses at a community college... you know... math, english, history, etc. Check with your chosen university on transfer of credits. The difference in tuition is huge... community colleges run like $2500 a semester versus $10,000 a semester at a university. Most universities use these core courses as a means of weeding out the freshmen, and they typically use cranky student teachers to teach these courses... they do everything to make it difficult. You need to get down to the real issue... does she simply want you out of the house? Nail that one down.
I don't want to speak out of line here but it doesn't sound like your mother is being rational. Thus, speaking with your mother about the issue would not be the advised route, instead I would try to engage in dialogue with your father first. If your father is approachable and willing to discuss the situation I would definitely seek out his opinion. Sometimes in these situations your family or in your situation your mother, has notions of what they believe is the best interest in your life. Some people call it being motherly, overbearing, controlling, but in the end they are simply looking out for you and want the best for you. You stated that you want to go to the college that is best for you. You're completely right when you say that, it is about YOU, and how YOU will spend the next 4 years of your life and how YOU will begin the next chapter of your life. In the end, I would seek your father's opinion. Communicate how you feel and how you want to attend a college that is best for you. Be open-minded and sensitive to her objections but you have to first communicate those differences.
have a calm discussion with her about why you chose the school and maybe she wants you to have a real college experience like living in dorms going to parties having friends and she worries you wont get it if you live at home
Talk to your father and then ask if he can have a talk with her. She is being way irrational.