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Mother disowns me for college choice?

I am 18 years old. I was recently accepted to every school I applied to, but narrowed it down to CUNY Baruch, and SUNY albany. I've been to both campuses, and SUNY albany is nice, but has a terrible reputation of being a party school, and has a large amount of drug, alcohol, and other violations issued to students each year. I live in brooklyn, and CUNY barcuh is among the best public universities in the entire nation, and one of the top business schools. I am not completely sure what I want to major in yet, but I decided to go to Baruch. When I told my mother, she went into a raging fit, telling me that I will never experience life If I stay at home for college. She started crying, and telling me that if I finalize this choice, she will disown me, and even divorce my father. I want to go to the college that is best for me, but I don't want to destroy my family. I also have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. What should I do? Thanks in advance, I am really distraught over the whole situation. Just to make it clear, I have 2 days to finalize my choice.

Public Comments

1. Wow. Is she bit of a control phreak or something> Do what your heart tells you to do, and hopefully in time she'll take back her "threat."
2. Hmm, odd your mother should go into such a fit. At least you got into college, some people don't even get that chance. I'm going to say you have to do what's best for you. If staying in your area will help foster your own creativity you need to stay there. I ended up in the wrong college because of what my parents wanted, and I am miserable now. I hate the rural area and dislike the atmosphere of a college like the one I'm at. If you feel you'll hate it in Albany, do not subject yourself to it. You need to sit your mother down and really talk it over with her, explain your reasoning, etc. Believe me, being in the same state is not seeing the world or experiencing life any more than staying home. It may be hard, but you have to do what's best for you.
3. I would recommend that you go to baruh. You have the complete right to chose which college you go to. Your mother's reaction makes absolutely no sense to me. Idk if i would recomend living at home. It depends on exactly what your parents are like. You can do it as long as your not dependant on them. Tell your mom that your going to the school or your choice. End of story.
4. ok, she might've overreacted a little bit. but i do understand how she feels. you'll be more independent if you move out of the house. you won't feel tied down or get too bored thinking it's just like high school. are you paying for tuition? because if it's your parents paying, go to SUNY. did your mom stay home for college/not go to college? she may be speaking from personal experience. she wants you to experience life outside of home. do you know how lucky you are? your parents aren't tying you down! if you really hate SUNY, you can transfer. and in all honesty, every school has a reputation for sex, drugs, parties, etc. some are more public about it than others. just because everyone knows about the partying at SUNY doesn't mean you have to join in. ( i don't ) but if you did party, would you rather come back home drunk and get in trouble with the parents, or sleep it off in your dorm room?
5. Wow, that's quite a reaction. I almost suspect there is more going on, and maybe she has other reasons for wanting you to go to SUNY or other things going on in her life that have made her overreact that at another time she would've handled better. I'm sorry you're going through this. Definitely need to address it delicately. Maybe try getting her and your father to sit down and talk calmly about your college decision. Show how serious and important this is to you and that you've given it a lot of thought, not just staying close to home out of convenience. List your reasons for why you want to go to Baruch. Let her list her reasons for wanting you to go to SUNY and/or for not wanting you to go to CUNY. And your father too; maybe he has some insight. And answer their questions: What can you do to make sure that you get the full college experience if you stay in town? What campus activities will you join? Will you live at home all four years or stay in a dorm or apartment? Are there summer internships or study programs you could enroll in that would allow you to spend time in another city? Perhaps you would like to do a Junior Year Abroad program? There are a lot of ways you can get different experiences without it being at a party school. I really doubt she will pack up and leave over your college choice; if she is seriously considering doing that, then there are other reasons and it is NOT your fault. More likely she's just upset and saying anything to stop you from doing what she thinks is a bad idea. Find out what she's thinking and do your best to reassure you that this is the best thing for you.