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english-research paper?

what do you think about my hyprothesis in my research paper entitled "psychological effects of listening to rock music"? HYPOTHESIS Music is an art form that has been visually present in any culture. The creation of it and how it is performed depends on the culture of where it was created. It maybe in a form of dance or in a form of singing either way its purpose is to express one’s self. The history of music is believed to have started in our surroundings. This music in or natural songs had contributed the development of music among humans. Early musical life was present in Europe. With such life the music paved way to different musical artists, techniques, and styles that soon later on gave an enormous influence in the 20th century. The 20th century music flourished when listening to the radio became a hit worldwide and different ways of recording , capturing, reproducing and distributing music emerged. The music of the 20th century foc if you can suggest on how to write the hypothesis please write one..i appreciate it

Public Comments

1. well , dont want to critisize but rock music more than likey can cause mood changes but as far as mental disorders wld say no , although can be an influence
2. First, I don't know if music can be considered to be "visually" present in any culture since it is mainly an 'audio' experience. Second, this reads like an introduction - it seems to be mixture of facts, choppy and convoluted. For example, "With such life...: " is a strange sentence. Third, what, exactly then is your hypothesis? Where do the psychological effects come in? Not trying to be mean, just trying to help. After all, you asked.... And what grade is this for - high school -?