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This is my English homework. Please keep in mind that I am only thirteen years old, so I don't have advanced standards like some of you might. So, just tell me if you think it's Okay, and constructive criticism is welcome. Dear Diary, Today was the same. I told Jasmine that it would be Okay. That everything will all work itself out and go back to how it was before. But I know she doesn’t believe it. I don’t either. I wish I could do more for her. She’s my little sister and everytime I look into her eyes, I can see the pain she’s suffering from all the arguing and shouting. I just want her to be happy. Like all the other kids in her class. The other day, she asked me if I was Okay. I took a moment answering her. Was I Okay? Was I, really? No. No, I wasn’t. But I can’t make things worse for her. I just smiled and said yes, Of Course I was Okay. I don’t like lying to her, but these days, it seems to be necessary. My friends have sensed a difference in me, a hollow emptiness, and they’ve asked me if anything was a matter. I’ve told them not to worry, that everything was fine and I was just tired. Only Jasmine knows the truth. Sometimes I wish I could just fly away. When I was little, I used to have this box. On it was painted rainbows and birds, butterflies and magic wands. When I was angry with my mum or my dad, I would sit in my box and close my eyes, and pretend to fly away to a place where nobody except me could go, where no one could hurt me. But I’m not a little girl anymore and I can’t pretend. Everyday, my parents fight about something different. And when they’re not shouting at eachother, a cold silence fills the house. Mum screamed at Dad that their marriage was a mistake. Does that mean I’m a mistake? That I’m not supposed to be here? Dad hates Mum. He said so. He said that he was stupid to have ever gotten involved with a woman like her. But I’m part of my mum. And I’m part of my Dad. Does that mean that they hate me? I usually rely on my iPod to get me through the day when they fight. I can play my songs. At least the words to the songs are predictable; I know what’s going to be sung and when the song’s going to finish. But when my mum and dad start fighting, you don’t know what harsh remarks they’ll throw at eachother and you certainly don’t know when they’ll stop. Why can’t they stop? My friends are always complaining that they hate their parents. That their parents have grounded them because they were late home or hit their little brother or sister. I would gladly swap with them. If I was late home, my mum wouldn’t ground me because she wouldn’t have noticed that I was ever gone. And I would certainly never hit Jasmine. Why can’t I do more for Jasmine? I’m supposed to protect her, but I’m not doing that much of a good job. If it were a dream, mum, dad, Jasmine and I would all be a happy family. Dad would come home from work and smile at mum and give her a kiss on the cheek while I’m doing my homework at the table and Jas is watching telly. We would go on exotic holidays like Greece and Spain, France and Italy. I would come home from my friend’s house to a Sunday roast where everyone is laughing and chatting happily. If it were a dream mum would be washing the dishes and singing while I told her about my day at school. If it were a dream. Please tell me what you think! By the way, the homework was that we had to make a diary entry of conflict, of how a child might feel if their parents were constantly fighting. Right, just so you know: No, my parents aren't abusive, I actually have quite a good relationship with them. I just find it really easy to put myself into other people's shoes, and think their way of thinking. Just to let you know, in England we spell mum like 'mum', not 'mom', like the way Americans do.

Public Comments

1. damn i really like it. it relates to a lot of children who hear their parents constantly fighting. i was going to tell you to make additions to the ending but never mind because it's a diary entry..it's endless
2. that was excellent! It felt like she was putting her whole heart into the diary entry! Incredible! You would most certainly get an A!
3. Wow!Please tell me this is not really going on.?Just the thought of it made me cry.Good/sad story!
4. you are a great write for a 13 year old. You should really consider write or something like that when you get older but you should realyl consider spelling mum like mom. but you did a fantastic job. Your really a great writer. so consider writing when you get older, maybe a book about child abuse and how kids could find a way to get out of it. You would be a great help.
5. This is very good writing. I have no way of knowing if this is something from your real life or if you are making it up for the assignment. If this is real for you I urge you to find someone to share this with. If not your mum or dad, perhaps a trusted teacher or perhaps your clergy if you have one. This is very important since you are being hurt psychologically and even more urgent if your are being hurt physically. Best of luck to you.
6. Check your grammer and spelling in a couple of places, but over all very very good, perhaps you could replace a couple of full stops with commas and there were one or two spelling errors but if you are only thirteen then this is an excellent piece of writing and you should be proud of yourself.