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Stay at home moms - feeling not valued and unappreciated?

I don't know if this is common feeling for stay at home moms or what, but I feel unappreciated and not valued at times. My daughter is 1 yr old and I've always worked in the past. Currently I am collecting unemployment so it does bring money in (pretty much the same as if I was working minus childcare). I also run a small cleaning company where I bring around $500 per month, and help husbands business (write estimates, all online advertising - which is his only source of business, and he's doing very well). On top of that I take care of the house (cooking, cleaning, etc), and our daughter of course. I think that I have a lot on my plate, but feel like my husband doesn't think so. Is this a common feeling for stay at home moms? What can I do to help my husband see that I work hard too?

Public Comments

1. i am not a stay at home mum, but i applaud you. wow. Girl you are supermom, the cleaning business is quite a lot on top of looking after a baby. Husbands are a bit dense at times and tend to whine and focus on themselves but i am so impressed. I myself am a single mum, i would love to be a stay at home mom - but i need to eat. I am so impressed. Hubby will come round. Dress sexier, complain less and be happy. He will notice and admire you again. Relationships change as we grow.
2. Hell yeah you for sure are very under appreciated. Doing all those things and feeling like that is very sad. If my wife did all that stuff i would hope she would tell my how she feels. Just like you should be upfront and tell your husband how you feel. Honest is the best.
3. Easy. If you help youre husband then you know how to handle the business for a day. So if it was me, i would trade places for a day. let him live in your shoes. I bet after the day is over, hell appreciate you way more.
4. I think some people actually added up some numbers and calculated the value of the work a stay at home parent does in a year, using average numbers for a husband and wife with two kids. It came out to be $106,000 or something like that (I know it was six figures). It makes a lot of sense considering all the childcare, cooking, cleaning, etc. It's safe to say you put in at least 10-12 hours a day 7 days a week, which I'm sure is more than what he does.
5. Hey "itz me", You know the funny thing is most couples don't appreciate each other normally. My mom was just like you...... she helped with my dad's self employed business, raised us kids, cleaned, cooked, bought groceries. And to boot you bring in an additional 500.00 a month??? That is awesome. Guess what man and woman need each other..... sometimes women have to work outside of the house..... because their husbands died, or divorce, or being a single mom and I totally applaud them!!!! ...... but your situation is the situation I think man and woman were meant to strive for. Men are good at 1 main task.... providing for their families.... I'm not saying men can't cook, clean, etc...... but we just are great at multi-tasking....... you ladies are really the glue that holds our families together. You can beautifully juggle 20 things at 1 time, cooking, cleaning, calling the doctor appointment, setting the plans for the weekend, making a play date for your daughter, walking the dog and talking to your girlfriend all on the phone at the same time!!!!! Maybe your husband is jealous that you can take a 1/2 hour nap in the middle of the day when your baby is sleeping..... maybe he is jealous that you stop in the clothing store for a pair of new shoes right after hitting the grocery store????? Who cares....... you know your husband comes home and probably plops on the couch when he wants and he has adult work friends that he chats with throughout the day..... about most recent sports game. And you should be happy for him too.......... we need each other.... it's in the bible and most religious books.... but even science backs this up too. Check out this article ---http://www.livescience.com/health/060524_longevity_research.html """Get married If the thought of eating only enough to survive or having your genes mucked with doesn't sound very appealing, scientists say there is another and perhaps more pleasurable way to live longer: fall in love. A study earlier this year led by Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, showed that happily married couples tend to live longer than unwed individuals. Married men were found to live, on average, 10 years longer than non-married men, and married women lived about four years longer than non-married woman. The researchers speculated that married men live longer because they adopt healthier lifestyles and take fewer risks. Married woman, on the other hand, probably live longer because of the improved financial well-being that comes with marriage.""""" Tell your husband without you staying at home and running the show ---- he will live 10 years less and be very miserable doing it!!!!! Good luck....... I don't know what we would of done with my mom making life so organized and full....... women give flavor and beauty to life....... whether they are working outside the home or inside ...... the bottom line is you are working and contributing to a beautiful life...... and if he expects you to earn more money then you need to "downsize" your lifestyle ...... because having a mom stay at home at least most of the time..... is priceless to the harmony of a family and raising your daughter. No extra vacation, newer car, bigger house (just to clean more), bigger jewerly, etc....... is worth that. Good luck, Steve
6. Challenge your husband to stay home for one day and do everything that you do. Inform him that this is what your typical day is like. If he refuses or still can't see how hard you work, chalk it up to he's not right in the head and it's what you know about yourself that counts.
7. With all your hard work and financial support to your family , you have to give some time for your husband. Fix up your time schedules - for work , for the child , for yourself and your husband. Now everything should be normal . Don't look like a tired , greasy domestic working girl all time . In the evenings and weekends , get dressed in a different way and have different schedules.