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Your Opinion of Stay At Home Dads?

I'm a guy who has his own freelancing business, and I work out of the house. My wife has a very well-paying, full-time job. Together, we have three kids, 12, 11, and 8. Because I have a much more flexible schedule, I do most of the cleaning, cooking, and laundry. I pick up the kids from school, ferry them to practices, etc. Our house isn't spotless, but it stays neat, and dinner is on the table when my wife comes home from work. At the same time, I earn as much as my CPA wife. Here's the thing. Lots of people think, because I'm not at a regular job earning a regular paycheck, I'm not earning money. The truth is, I make top dollar for what I do. But, for some reason I can't fathom, friends and family think I need to be at an office to make a legitimate living. So what do you do to reinforce that you really are pulling your weight? After enduring yet another bunch of yibes at my in-laws, I really need to know.

Public Comments

wow, was about to say that i don't think they should stay home. but seems that u are doing good by doing so...
First of all, do you have a twin? Hahahaha! DON'T LET ANYONE spoil your day. If your wife is OKAY with what you do and how you do your job - thats ALL that matters. My hats off to you for being so secure doing chores and all. There are only a handful of men who like the idea and actually say it. You don't need to be in a physical office. Your virtual office is enough and its as if you're not earning anything and not doing anything in the house as well. Don't be bothered with what other ignorant people have to say about it. They're just envious.
basically, stay away from any people who look down on what you do... and this means your wife should back you up for what you do and she should stay away from those who look down on you too... this includes her family... I would not put up w/ these people, and neither should she... good luck! =) as long as you are not cheating online and/or in person during your "free" time, sure, keep doing what you are doing...
My husband has this same problem, only he has Rheumatoid Arthritis and collects Social Security. If he wasn't at home taking care of things, we would have to pay someone to do what he does. Our family just is not in tune with our life and our needs, so I don't care what they think.
ur such a sweet hubby and dad... dont mind what other people thinks, as long as ur wife is ok with it, then just be happy... what matters is her opinion, not anyone elses. we are in 21st century already for petes sake... man and wife can alter their roles now..
well your wife should be reinforcing to her family what you do for them, if they are saying things she should be standing up and screaming how much you take care of your family. she has dinner on the table, the house is clean the kids are well cared for why does it matter how much you make? society says the man is suppose to be the breadwinner but there is nothing wrong with a man who stays home to take care of his family. besides that you do make money and just as much as your wife and your doing all the work at home? forget what people say, i know its hard but as long as you and your wife are happy then thats all that matters.
When my son was born, I worked while my (ex) wife stayed home, then we both worked and then I had the opportunity to go back to college (have it paid for but also get PAID to go) so I stayed home, took care of him and the house while she worked. I made as much as she did but some people thought it was odd. A friend of mine was an investment banker, his wife a surgeon, she made over double his pay and they believe as I do that children should be raised by a parent not a damn sitter so he stays home and tends to the three kids. I know other fathers that do as well. Despite what some radical feminists will tell you, women have a better chance of getting into some of the best jobs (especially government) and great chances at promotions.
As long as this present situation works for you, your wife, and the kids and bills are being met - who cares what others think? A man that cooks and cleans, takes care of the kids - DANG! Do you have a brother?????
Dont let them make you feel guilty about something that is absolutely none of their business in the first place. If your doing your part and everything is alright between you and your wife then anything thats said or thought by everyone else means absolutely nothing........................ If it worries you so much maybe your wife should set her family straight about everything
**applause** sounds like you found what works for YOUR family. if your wife is content, the opinion of others is irrelevant
Honestly, They are jealous and being protective over their daughter, I would talk to your wife and make her stick up for you thats her job, to fight it out with them, Also before visiting them Speak to her and remind her of your feelings, Say Honey, i love you and love our family and our life, BUT each time i go visit your family they are hurtful and disrespectful of me, I don't want to have to argue, and feel bad during the holidays, So I would appreciate it, if you would speak to them, when they start up, Otherwise I think me an dthe kids will just stay home and enjoy our thanksgiving as a family, See if she gets it, Also Remember, these folks are, Pulling your chain, They do the same to my husband, I stay at home , but he is comes from a muslim country, and they say things like ( Sleeper cell, terrorist, ect..) Its offensive, and even tho i try to stop them they still do it, I honestly can't stop them and it hurt me that they are hurting him and my FAMILY So this year we opted out of the family BS, It was great, M PS, I respect your position, and I am sure your wife loves it that you keep the house clean and make the dinner, Frankly, I would much rather work, outside the home than inside, as thats much more work, Not to mention your GREAT income No one needs to approve of your family but you and your wife, My suggestion is to plan a romantic evening for you and your wife, and forget about the crazy inlaws Mine are getting ready to come and ruin my life in a few weeks, everytime they visit we end up talking about divorce, They haven't visited in 2 years, its been bliss M
Aren't in laws great? It's not up to you to defend yourself. You're married, have a family, and it sounds like you have your crap together. Why not tell your wife how much this is upsetting you? You could just leave this question on the computer and have her "accidentally" read it... I think she needs to know though, that way when her parents are giving you a hard time, she can stick up for you (which is what wives are supposed to do!) I'm an writer as well, and people don't seem to "get" that while I'm typing away at my computer (no matter *where* that is, Starbucks, the park, in my office) I'M WORKING. I always have neighbors drop by unannounced or my MIL call me and say "Oh, since you're not busy...." Grr. I always say the same thing... The concept of a 9-5 desk job works for some people, just not for me. Good luck, I think what you're doing is great
I don't think you should have to justify your lifestyle to anyone other than to you and your wife. If you are both happy with the arrangement and it works for your family then just disregard what "others" have to say. It sounds like you two have a great system and are both pulling your weight.
Man, what a question. If my late husband was a stay at home dad, then that would mean that he was alive and kicking!
I take it the jibes were from her parents? Your income and your wife's are really none of their business, unless one of you is dying, and you need someone to care for the children. As for a SAHD, my husband did that for a while when our oldest son was 2 years old, and I was the only one working. I loved it! I thought it was great idea. The rent was paid, the bills were paid, we had food and a roof over our heads, and while everything wasn't always clean, dinner was ready when I got home. Anyone who wants to make a living at home should be able to do so. It's no one's business how your money is made, especially if it's done legally. The next time your in-law's make a statement, tell them (nicely!) to mind their own business, and take care of their own house. Then you continue to take care of your family.