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How would you suggest cutting a "long list" of wedding invites down?

My Fiance and I are getting ready to start outlining out wedding plans and we are starting with a guest list. We want a guest list of roughly 100 people. Not real small and not big at all. So we want to make our guest list and then start chopping away. How is the most gentle way to do this that will be least likely to offend our parents about relatives that we aren't close to.

Public Comments

1. Figure how much per plate you want to spend. I would guess later when you talk to your parents you can show them what a great savings it would be to only have close friends and family. Example if it will cost $15.00 dollars a person or $20.00 dollars a person. Now if they are willing to pay for the extra people then why look a gift horse in the mouth?
2. My fiance and i just did this last night lol. We cute people like great aunt and such that we dont see often we cut down on some friends on the family that we dont see often. Dont worry about offending them if anyone says anything just tell them you wanted a small wedding thats why you didnt invite the entire family. what we did was cut most of the people we havent seen in the at least past 4 years with a few exceptions of course.
3. Assemble the list first (which you have already figured out). Circle those that you absolutely must have at the wedding. Then let parents decide who to give the remaining slots to. Have you picked a venue? Find out how adaptable it is (plus or minus 10 people, for instance). You may not be close to that relative, but your parents may only see that relative now infrequently because LIFE got in the way. This is especially true of relatives that no longer live nearby.
4. Make your list, the one of the people that you would not want to celibrate your wedding without. Take the remaining slots(say you filled 60) so depending on who's parents have more guests that they 'need' to invite decide what numbers they can choose. Don't tell them how many the other gets, just "mom and dad, you get to invite 27 people, here is who we have already, give us your list when you are done"
5. Your parents aren't getting married so they don't decide that. Sit down with your fiance and decide who is nearest and dearest to you. Don't invite people out of obligation whom you are not close to at all just to fill seats or please other people. Your wedding day is not about your parents or his or anyone else. Do you want to have total strangers at your wedding or other people you don't care about? Especially since weddings are not cheap and if you are serving a full meal as most people do these days, those can easily be $50-200+ per person depending on where you are located and most couples don't really want to pay that much for people they will never see again. Some guidelines that alot of people suggest as ways to cut the list but is by no means a mandatory list and may not apply to everyone: - Have you spoken to this person in the last year? - Do you regularly exchange Christmas cards? - Have you invited this person to your home for dinner? We have friends and family that we aren't able to see as often as we'd like but we still keep in touch as much as we can even if it isn't regularly and can't imagine the day without them so I don't personally see that as a factor to cut someone. But I could see why someone else would if they live in a close-knit community with most people they love all around them (and no more than 30min drive total for example), but not everyone is that lucky because people move around and have lives of their own. Edit: I've never gotten the hierarchy that people use to determine who should be invited and who should be cut. That is assuming that we live in a perfect world where everyone gets along great and there are no feuds or bitterness or whatever going on, which is not the case for most families in real life. So it doesn't really make sense why you would be expected to cut your closest friends who may be just like family to you because you have to invite "close" (as in relation by blood rather than how you actually interact with each other) relatives who don't get along with you for whatever reason instead because society says the relatives "are more important". According to whom? Society is not making the guest list so they don't get a say either.
6. It is your wedding not your parents wedding. Take your 100 invites and split them 50-50 Each of you take 10 out and put aside for those people you might have in common. Now start with the family members that you are closest to and then friends that you cannot exclude because you love them. Pick only the closest people to you and then stop and see how many are left. If one of you is finished with all the people they want you can give the extra to the other who might have more "necessary people". Put them on the list and then see what you have left over. You have those 20 0n the side see what people you have in common that are not already on the list and include them. Now if there are any left see what other relatives you want to invite but are not that close to you. See the point here. Each person can invite those closest to you, You have 20 for friends you have in common what ever is left split again and then invite who you want until you have used up your 100 and that is that. If any are left out too bad. You cannot invite the world and your parents will understand, or they won't but it is your wedding. If they are paying you can cut 5 each to give to your parents to invite whoever they think"must" be invited outside of those you are already going to invite, but that is totally up to you.
7. Here is what I would do.... Obvious "musts": parents, grandparents, siblings (and spouses/significant others), nieces, nephews. Then.....aunts/uncles Then...friends (limit only close friends) Then, IF room....I would get into the cousins (but ONLY if you are close to them!) If you see them every 5 years, forget it!! Then, IF room and if you want....co-workers.