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How do I go about making a guest list for my wedding?

I have quite a few questions that go with the broader question asked, so if you have any ideas, please answer! :-) I want a big wedding, so all of my family and his family are going to be invited, but my family is very large and his is very small. Will it be weird because I will have a lot of guests on my side and he wont? At what age should i allow the guests to bring a date? When making the guest list do I include dates and children?

Public Comments

1. I don't think both sides have to be equal in numbers. I think 18 is a good age to bring a date. I did not include children at my wedding and I think the parents enjoyed an evening out without the kids. I think it also makes for a more formal event. If there is budget restrains to not include so and so and guest. Just invite the person without a guest. If they know people that are also going to be at the wedding, they will still have a blast.
2. sit down and write everyone's name on a list. then go through and delete any prior dates you've had and any children not accompanied by parents.
3. 1. No, it's not weird for one person to have a lot of guests and the other to have less. If he wants to invite more friends to make up for his small family, he should have the option of doing that. 2. I don't have a particular age in mind for when it's okay for someone to bring a date, but I would say that it should be allowed for anyone in the college student/young adult range. They are establishing a separate identity away from their families and may have serious significant others. And it's polite to always invite engaged/married/cohabiting couples as a pair - never just the one alone. But it depends on how many young people are in your family. If you have 20 unmarried cousins between 18-22 and you don't really have the resources to host 20 additional college girlfriends/boyfriends, you might decide on a different criteria for who can bring a date. 3. When making the list, DEFINITELY include dates and children. They won't get separate invitations, but they will definitely need food, chairs, etc. You don't want to leave them unaccounted for when you're making your guest list.
4. Make a list of everyone you can possibly think of. Then divide the list into A, B, and C lists- A is must be there, B is I really want there and C is if budget and space allows it would be nice if they were there. That's the best advice I've gotten on my list. Ourweddingday.com has a great organizer for guestlists. I am allowing people to bring dates if they are in committed relationships, but I have budget and space limits. Also the only children I am allowing are our nieces and nephews. Its really up to what you want and how formal of an occassion also. The more formal, the more the reception should be "adults only" and black tie. The more casual, the more the merrier I feel. Have you choosen your venue yet? That will make a difference for your final guest list. What I did was make a list of everyone and added up the total number so I knew what size venue to look for. Then I further edited it. Good luck! and Congratulations!
5. It's not weird to have one side with more guests than the other. However, don't discount his side just yet. My husband has a very small family yet somehow ended up having more people invited than my overly large family. What age would you feel comfortable? I allowed anybody over 18 to bring a date. Then again, I didn't have too many guests under 18 and one of them brought his date anyway. Ugh. You need to include dates and children in your count to get an accurate number to the caterer. I made an excel spreadsheet - first column of a number that was on their RSVP card (you wouldn't believe how many send back the cards without a name!), second column was the name of the invited guests (Aunt Sally and Uncle Joe or Philip and Guest), third column was the number invited (2), and fourth column was left blank to insert the number when they responded (many invited with a guest responded without). Best of luck. And remember, the number of guests is going to be the biggest indicator of overall budget!
6. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! This is an exciting and stressful time in any soon to be bride's life. If you feel it will look uneven in the church because your family is bigger, you may want to consider seating people on either side of the aisle and forgo brides side on the left and grooms on the right. Anyone over the age of 18 should have their own invitation and be allowed to bring a guest. This is proper ettiquette. I would definitely plan on dates and children when you make your head count. Also, plan that 1/2 to 3/4 of those invited will attend. You will get a better idea when responses come in. On a side note, be sure to relax and enjoy your day when it arrives. Don't let the little things that may go wrong distract from your enjoyment, most of those little things you won't remember in a few years. This is YOUR day, be happy! Congratulations and good luck!
7. I have the same situation with my family being much larger than his. We decided to cut the guest list off at first cousins. When seating them for the ceremony, make sure to have your ushers aware that the guests should not be seated by if they are there for Bride or Groom, just have them fill in the rows evenly. As far as dates, I went off of both age and how serious of a relationship it is. If you are not dating someone at the time the invitations are sent out then it wouldn't be a serious relationship where it would account for a guest. Especially at 18 most relationships aren't serious. I know my guests on a personal level and I know that everyone I am inviting knows at least 2-3 other guests and won't feel uncomfortable attending without a guest. I don't think a wedding is the place to bring a 'fresh' couple. You do have to include children, if you decide to invite them. We will not be inviting children of friends or first cousins. Only nieces, nephews and first cousins that are children are invited. It's tough trying to decide whom to invite without hurting anyone's feelings, but this day is about who you and your FH want to share it with. Good Luck!!
8. It won't be weird. To avoid awkwardness some couples ditch the traditional "groom's side bride's side" of the ceremony or church. Our rule about dates is this--they have to be in a long term relationship and either me or FH has to have met the date. My friends are all friends with each other, and only one is in a long-term relationship, so she is the only one who's bringing a date. We did this for mostly money reasons, but also my friends would get really uncomfortable if they thought they were expected to bring dates, as not many of them are big on the dating scene and a few have just ended long term relationships. We're inviting all children to our reception because they are a part of the family and only 4 of our guests are under age 15 or so, and 3 of those guests are flower girls/ring bearer.
9. Hey, Congratulations on getting married =) You can find a Free Printable Guest List on http://www.bookyourwedding.co.uk might help? lol Lots and lots of info on planning your wedding on there too. Good luck, Issy =)