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Is this a good story?

In school we are writing short stories, (5th grade) and I am almost done. Do you think this is a good idea? I am going to give you a description of the story- Darcy Tilver is a famous singer. She is 16, and is on world tour. Her 11 year old sister is a big fan. They are going to the next country for her tour, and on the plane it is crazy, like there funny, little 4 year old sister Juliana, who keeps on flickering the lights and annoying a teenager, a sleeping guy, a girl who hates Darcy and much more. But when they get off the plane, the pilot tells everyone except the Tilver family to get off the plane. The pilot is stranding them! The pilot flies away, leaving the Tilver's alone and stranded. Trying to keep alive, which they are pretty good at, things get crazy. Darcy teaches Juliana how to swim, yet she is horrible. And the oldest kid of the family, Michael, has an idea- since they still have their suitcases, to go on the lap top, and do live chat to tell them to get a search party! So Darcie gets her wonderful lap top, and finds the internet not working, but her web chat program working! Her opening act, Carly Quirtenson, who went on a different plane was on! Darcy was talking to Carly, yet Carly refused to put on a search party, because the fans were loving Carly more without Darcy, and Carly loved the spotlight. So, Darcy and her family are still stranded. Late at night, just before Darcy was about to go to bed, Juliana was still up! Juliana said some suspicious things like "You have to teach me how to swim because I am not going to be here tommorrow. Darcy asked why, and Juliana said nervously "None of your business!" Darcy ended up teaching her to swim, and Juliana was good! NEXT MORNING- They were looking for food, and they found some. While eating breakfast, they noticed something was missing, it was Juliana! They spotted a note, and it was from Juliana saying things like " I left because I am a good swimmer, and I am going to get back home! Come with me!", but obviously, they could'nt because it was a huge ocean. They were all so upset, because most likely Juliana will have drowned! 1 WEEK LATER- Darcy was talking to Carly again on web chat, and Darcy said " Oh, I really don't care about my fans, it is all an act, I just do it for fame and fortune!" When she said that, Crystal heard and got really upset. Crystal looked at a photo album with Darcy in it, like her journey from american idol (that is how she became famous) and stuff like that. Darcy later found her, and apoligized and told her that she really does like her fans, she just wanted to get Carly to help us get back home, because she was being like Carly, but it did'nt work. Crystal forgived her..... and the story goes on. So you get the point right? So is it good, and what is a good title?

Public Comments

  1. kwel http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090524044340AAPsj6r
  2. pretty awsome u know ur pretty smart for a 5th grader
  3. good story love it! awnser my question anyone http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjpTf_cVN.61Ry8m3sW_nbjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090523131916AAxg3pD
  4. Well, its alright. Theres plenty of description there, however there are some things i dont understand, the main one is this: You said there was no internet, yet somehow Darcy and Carly were still able to chat to each other using the laptops.
  5. Were like rain drops falling from the sky...some rain drops return to the sky
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