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I am so pissed at my husband and I have my baby shower coming up and I feel horrible mad at him Plz help me?

Ok here's what happened.Please, I know its long but hear me out. My husband has made certain huge promises to me about some things in our marriage the knowledge that he's promised me about a couple of things helps me stay sane and trust him(its not about an affair and all its some other things regarding my in-laws etc,some problems we had) Now this might sound silly but what happened what I have a friend whos planning my baby shower.I am 32 wks pregnant.I wanted to have a huge co-ed party at a rented place closeby.The place cost 300 and catering would cost 300.When I told my husband 20 days back I want the baby shower there he said its too expensive and I am crazy to want that.I said then maybe we should have a meet the baby party there.He said yes that would be worth it. He made a promise that he thinks it would be worth it and we could do that..he said have a simple baby shower and later we can have something in that rental place. Now 20 days later when I told him about it,he said no way, I dont want to have the meet the baby party there as you are getting a baby shower now.He's the one paying for the catering which would be about 200 at a friends place where the baby shower is going to be held. Now I felt so bad.I asked him why he promised and he said at that time it was between a baby shower at rental place vs a welcome baby at the rental place but according to me he had said baby shower simple and lavish welcome baby party... So didnt he lie that time? I think he did but his reasoning is as such. 1) I was forcing him for a baby shower in the rental place and so compared to that he felt its more worth having a welcome baby party,so he never lied. 2)He thot there are many people who would come and since there werent too many when we made the baby shower list,he says there arent many so why do another party for the same small group. 3)I am no longer going crazy like I was about the baby shower even the simple one.. My sadness is he lied.He made a false promise. Even if he changed the promise later bcoz of a change in circumstances,its still a lie,right? I am correlating this incident with those big promises he has made in the past. He says this is such a small isolated thing and those are life changing promises so obviously he would never turn around on those...but NOW I feel like can I trust him when he says something. Please please help me feel better.

Public Comments

1. i don't think he lied, i think he was trying to please a hormonal woman at the time of the initial conversation. You should be happy he loves you, because you sound really crazy. Pregnant ladies are crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just be happy your baby will be healthy and try not to teach the kid to be as ungrateful as you are. happy baby day!!
2. Just relax
3. Go Get and Read "The Four Agreements" before the baby comes!!! Its not all about you! Hes not intentially doing anything to hurt you. It will help you see that what other people do and say and change their minds about are not personal attacks on you, its just them. You be clear about what you want and he will agree or not, so you can deal with truth and clarity in your marriage. i even got confussed with your story good luck
4. No, I don't think he plotted all this in his head like "I know what I'll do, I'll LIE to my heavily pregnant wife so that she'll be sad". I'm sure at the time, he fully intended on fulfilling the promise, but when it came to it he realised he had less money than he thought and changed his mind. He hasn't cheated on you. He hasn't spent money on something ridiculous. He hasn't revealed some deep dark secret. Its not exactly the highest level of betrayal here, so stop acting like it is. Congrats on the baby in advance!
5. Wow Girl, sounds like you have a lack of communication going on here! I don't think your husband is a lier. It's just a misunderstanding. Now, I could be wrong but, being a guy myself I doubt it. Here is an idea. Just forgive him for all the past and start fresh with a new way to make sure you are getting through to him. When you tell him what you want and he agrees to it. Make him repeat it back to you just to be sure you are on the same page. That will eliminate any lack of understanding between you two. And if he falls short on that promise then the next time make him put it in writing and then he can't deny it. There is always a solution to a problem if you look for it. Unless he is actually an out right lier and won't follow through with his promises. But, even then all you have to do is get your name on his credit card and deal with the consequences later after the fact.
6. I think your blowing this way out of proportion. I understand you pregnant and that would contribute to your emotional upset. I doubt your husband did it deliberately He may have changed his mind, not meant what he said etc. No matter what the case though, in the big scheme of things it doesn't really matter. You have to stop taking stuff so personally. You also need to learn to pick your battles. Is it really worth all the drama? You may be right, but you don't always have to make a huge point of it, you don't always need him to acknowledge your right. Some things are worth fighting for and some are not, you really need to learn put tings into perspective and let things slide for the grater good..A peaceful marriage.
7. You really need to think of him and not just you. I don't know how you may be financially, but regardless you should be saving because babies are expensive! I know you are overwhelmed with joy about your baby, but you don't need all those parties. Also, it's not the best idea to put your newborn baby in a room with so many people for a party, you wouldn't want your baby to get sick. Your family and friends will meet the baby when it's born at the hospital or they will visit once you get home. If throwing parties is what you like...then wait for your baby's first b-day and rent the place you want. The last thing on your mind after you give birth will be throwing a party. Also, did he actually promise? According to your story, he said it would be a better idea to have meet a baby party there... but didn't actually say let's have the party. Ah...hormones are getting to you...
8. He didn't lie, he changed his mind, which is not the same thing. I sound repetitive, I know, but if you want your marriage to work, choose your battles, save your energy for battles that are important. If you keep bitc*ing about minor issues, the day you have a serious issue, he will dismiss your arguments as you being a nagging wife right from the start. Congrats on the bay, BTW.