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Excluded from the Wedding List. Am I Wrong?

I am getting married in June. I invited two of my favorite cousins and their Dad but I did not invite their Mother because she is not married to my Uncle anymore. More importantly, she was very mean to me when I was growing up. She has never showed me any kindness and I have no relationship with this women what so ever. She has disrespected my Mother and the wedding is at my Mother's house. The last time I saw this women was 9 years ago at my Brothers wedding but she didn't speak to me then. Now because I won't invite her, my cousins probably won't come and I look like the Bridezilla. Am I wrong for not wanting this person at my wedding. As far as i'm concerned she is not a part of my family. What would you do?

Public Comments

u go gurlie
i would invite her.
Stick to your guns, missie, stick to your guns. If you get the chance, explain why she isn't invited but stick to your guns. You're aces in my book.
youre not wrong....It's your wedding...too bad for her
you're not wrong. BS you're allowed to invite/not invite anyone you want. This isn't your cousins day it's yours and if they want to throw hissy fits and can't unattach themselves from their mothers ass for 4 hours f-em you wont want them there anyway
I wouldn't invite her either. It's your wedding!! You get to decide the guest list!!! Explain to your cousins why you aren't inviting her and if they still don't want to come, then they weren't worth coming in the first place!! Good Luck!
I think you are correct in not inviting her, and if your cousin doesn't want to attend there is nothing that you can do about it, but inviting this woman for your cousins benefit, isn't going to make you or your mother happy, stay strong and good luck on your wedding day. It should be the happiest day of your life, and that is the one day where you do get to be a little selfish, so do what you want not what other people want you to do.
This is your day !!!! make it about you and your husband to be , not anyone or anything else. If your cousins don't come , then it's their loss.
If you don't have a relationship with this woman, and she is no longer considered a family member, than she has no place at your wedding. Don't invite her....you don't want to be uncomfortable on your big day. And, if your cousins are close to you, they'll understand.
Why invite NEGATIVE vibes to what is going to be the BEST day of your life!!! My aunt (who is very catty and mean) was invited to my Wedding and RUINED it!! ~ all through the ceremony she was making faces and then she made stupid comments at the reception. TOTALY put a cloud on MY day!! I Would NOT invite her! especially if shes not even related to you by blood! Good luck!! Dont let anyone spoil your Day!!
No, you're not wrong and No, I wouldn't invite the old hag. Bridezilla or not (you're not) it's your day and you should only invite the people you want there. If that makes invited guests mad then uninvite them. This aunt was obviously nothing but a hateful old goat and you don't owe her a damn thing.
im sure if ud invite her also she wudnt come so ud jus invite her for ur cousins..don care if she comes or not or if u hate her really very much thn don invite her
I think you are totally justified in not inviting her. You don't want people who were mean to you at your wedding. This is your special day and you should have it how you want. Your wedding is not about other people- it is about you and how you feel! You are celebrating your eternal love- not having to deal with family drama!
You did right. Nobody wants trouble at a wedding.
I left a lot of people out of my wedding list too. But however, we didnt exclude any certain person from a family. but if she doesnt live there, isnt married to him anymore, then she's not invited, she's not your family anymore, so dont invite her. If her kids cant understand that, well, someday they will. I dont think they wont come just cuz of their mother, Parents split up, it happens, not all parents come to the other parents parties. My parents are divorced and attended each others weddings, REALLY Strange, so Just dont invite her.
It's your wedding. So its your choice. As long as you can justify your reasoning, without getting personal or drawing on the past, then go for it. We had to make a choice about whether or not to invite my husband's mother. In the end, we did, and were pleased we had. But you need to go with your gut. Especially if your mother doesn't get on with her and its at her house. You don't want her being hassled in her own home, especially on your wedding day. Most of all, enjoy the day.
The best policy is always to follow your instinct. I would call the cousins and ask them personally how they feel about you not inviting their mom. Give them your perspective and see what they say. If they freak, you have to weigh the option of a late invite versus the disrespect this Aunt has shown your mom.
I wouldn't invite her either, you wouldn't want to pay for someone to eat and drink at your expense knowing that they disrespected your mother and your home, so I don't blame you for not wanting her there, it's your prerrogative whom to invite, however, don't expect your cousins to attend. Don't take their possible absence personal, just like you are supporting you mother, they will support theirs and you shuouldn't hold any grudges as a result of this. My guess is that there is no secret that you guys don't get along and that they are not surprised. Concentrate in other things, don't let this bother you. You invited them, if they don;t want to come, so bet. There will be plenty more people that would be happy to attend. Good luck
No not at all you have every right to not have her there it is your day and your favorite cousins should understand that keep your head up and God Bless you on your wedding day.lol
I see no reason to invite her. For one thing, you will be disrespectful to your mother by inviting your cousins' mother to her house. Your cousins should be aware of the relationship between your family and their mother, and it seems unreasonable for them to expect her to be invited. On your wedding day, you should be surrounded by people you love and support you, not people who won't even speak to you. It will be unfortunate if your cousins decide not to attend, but that is there choice and nothing will change that. I would just let it go. Stick to you decision not to invite her and don't cave to the wishes of others. You are not being a bridezilla in the least! Rather, you are being reasonable and respectful of your immediate family's wishes. Good luck and congrats!
Its YOUR wedding, the day you've probably dreamed of for a long time. Invite who you please, those that don't come are missing out themselves. The most important people are not necessarily cousins, but moms, dads, sisters, brothers, grandparents,and best friends! My mom insisted I invite her best friend to my wedding, but her best friend and my husband to be did not get along, and when I asked him, he said he would prefer she not be invited, so I didn't. This made my mom angry and her best friend furious! But my wedding went well, and we were happy that she did not come, because I realized, its MY wedding, not my moms, not her best friends!
if her presence would detract from your happiness then don't invite her.. it's your wedding..
She is no longer part of the family and it sounds like there is good reason for that. She should not expect to be invited to family things when she is no longer part of the family. She did not have a good relationship with you or your mother. I think that you acted correctly. Your uncle can bring his children to your wedding. It has been 9 years since you saw her anyway and I assume that you have had no contact with her in the meantime. That is just crazy. You are not being Bridezilla in this case. She is the one who is being rational. I would have done the same thing.
i don't think you're wrong. you have no obligation to invite someone you obviously can't stand, whether they're family or not. even the length of time since you've seen her last is reason enough to not invite her. you absolutely made the right call here, don't let anyone guilt trip you into changing your mind. however, you do need to explain to your cousins that you're excluding their mother out of respect for your mother, and despite that, it's really important to you for them to still be part of your big day.
I wouldn't invite her either. It's YOUR wedding, and on your wedding day it's all about you. Don't invite negativity into your day. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. If your cousins can't understand that, then unfortunately they'll just miss out on one of the most important days in your life. I'd stick to my guns! :0)
Your wedding is your day. Invite who you want. If you have a good relationship with your cousins you might talk to them in person and let them know that you will understand if they feel they cannot attend under the circumstances. An olive branch to them may keep peace in that relationship. If they love you they will understand that you do not want any discord at your wedding.
you are right in not inviting her. u have no relationship with her, she disrespected your mother, she's never been kind to you, and she is not with your uncle anymore....why should you have to invite her???? it is your day and you do whatever makes you happy
The guests and bridal party are supposed to be people who are supportive of you as an individual and in your new role as a married person. They are also supposed to be people you want to share this special event with, people who love you and care about you, not people who give you bad memories and bad feelings. You are correct not to invite her, especially since she's not married to your uncle any longer. It's your cousins decision to disrespect you but if you haven't seen their mother in over 9 years and she's never been well received in the family (especially in light of the wedding being held at your mother's and her previous relationship with your mother) then she doesn't deserve to be a guest at your wedding. Go and enjoy your wedding with the guests who show up to love and support you. God Bless your new marriage.
No i would not invite her. This is your wedding day and you do not want anyone there that can possibly ruinit for you. I am in the same situation my fiance and I am getting married in June next year and I do not want his cousin there although it's his family the damn girl keeps trying to hook him up with one of her friends. So she will not be at our wedding. Do what makes you happy otherwise youwill regret it
I'd do the same exact thing you did. No worries, you're in the right here.
Go with ur decision.
It's your wedding, invite who you want. If this lady was mean to you growing up and didn't even acknowledge you at your brother's wedding, she's off the invite list. You shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable at your own wedding. A couple who is getting married should be surrounded by people who love and care about them. People who wish them well. This woman doesn't sound like she cares about you nor wish you well. If your cousins don't come because their mother was not invited, so be it. Your reasons are valid and it is your day. Don't stress, I and many others will agree with you.
I wouldnt invite her either, when she divorced your uncle, she divorced the whole family and you are under no obligation to ask her to join in your celebration. However, your cousins are her daughters and their loyalties lie with her not you and I dont think that you should be upset that they will not attend. Accept that this is the decision they are choosing to make and dont hold it against them. But dont plan your wedding and happiness around whether or not they attend, if they come they come, if they dont they dont. Invite them, thats all you can do. BTW, you do not look like Bridezilla, I hate that term anyway. You have very valid reasons to not invite this woman, if they would like to hear them you can tell them what they are, but I doubt they are interested or will be understanding because you are talking about their mom. Just let them do what they will. Best of luck.
You are right for not inviting her. Sounds like alot of people would be uncomfortable. Your family should understand.
I wouldn't invite her either. You shouldn't invite someone who you don't want there to please someone else. If you think your uncle and cousins will be mad just tell them your feelings on the situation. They can deal with it or be mad.
I would try to be the better person and just invite her, you don't have to be so chummy with her just acknowledge her and enjoy your day. Believe you will look like the better person, she just is bitter.
If you do not want her at your wedding then do not invite her. You are not wrong. If your cousins do not want to go because you are not inviting her that is THEIR problem and a few less mouths to feed.
It is your wedding and you can invite or not invite anyone that you want to. It is all your choice...no one else can tell you what to do. If you don't consider her family and you don't speak to her then why would you invite her? Hopefully your cousins will realize that you have not spoken to her in years and don't feel she should come to your wedding for many reasons. Good luck!
You did fine. You don't need toxic people at your wedding.
No you have every right not to invite someone that doesn't treat you well. This is supposed to be a happy occasion and if it will make you feel better, don't invite her. Do you even think she would come if you did? or if you knew she really wanted to come would you feel bad?
I am the only one to answer this way, but here goes. I think that if you felt secure in not inviting her, you wouldn't have asked the question. You seem to be caring and sensitive which means you can extend the courtesy of an invitation to your former aunt. She does not have the power to ruin your day if you don't let her. You are showing selfless compassion for someone who is obviously in need of some. I'd go ahead open your heart, and invite her. Good luck!
I would speak to your cousins and explain that although you really care about them and their dad and look forward to them sharing your day with you, you really want the people there to be near and dear to you. Also note that she may not be comfortable and other family members may not either. I think as adults they will understand. I would just be honest, you can leave the details you gave us.........lol