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Fiance doesn't like a very good friend of mine and wants to cut her off the wedding list. what should i do?

My boyfriend and I have been planning a wedding for quite sometime, But when it comes to our guest list, he doesn't want a good family friend of mine involved in our wedding, not even as a guest. When i proposed to him to make it just a family event, he neglected the idea. What should i do, i do not want to hurt this friends feelings and i don't want my fiance to feel bad on our wedding day... PLEASE HELP My boyfriend and I have been planning a wedding for quite sometime, But when it comes to our guest list, he doesn't want a good family friend of mine involved in our wedding, not even as a guest. When i proposed to him to make it just a family event, he neglected the idea. What should i do, i do not want to hurt this friends feelings and i don't want my fiance to feel bad on our wedding day... She is kind of a flirt, and has cheated on her husband, and he thinks that she will rub off on me. He just doesnt like her way of being.

Public Comments

1. Well what's his reasoning behind not wanting the friend there? details? So she cheated on her husband and this affects him now? Unless he's the one she's cheated with I don't think his reason is remotely valid. Yeah cheaters suck and I don't like them, but she is your friend and the wedding day is yours as well. He doesn't even have to talk to her if he doesn't want to. Seems to me for some odd reason this whole "She might rub off on you" = him saying "I don't trust you" ...For whatever reason, I think he's just being silly and paranoid.
2. If I were you I would just keep trying to convince him. What would she have done so wrong that he wont even let her be at the wedding? In the end it is his wedding too, so you should respect his wishes over your friends feelings.
3. Why doesn't he want her there? If there is a valid reason then I would consider his point. I couldn't imagine marrying a man feels like he could tell me who my friends are or try to deny me having someone I care about at my wedding no matter what his feelings were towards her.
4. Marriage is about compromise. How would he feel if the roles were reversed and you didn't like a close friend of his and didn't want him at your wedding? What is his reasoning?
5. There must be something about this person that deeply hurts your fiance that he does not approve of them at the wedding. Speak to your fiance about why he dislikes this person. You say you don't want to hurt this person, but you already know it would hurt your fiance, on HIS wedding day. This should be a no brainer.
6. well you can either tell that firned how your fiance is feeling and tell her you dont want to ruin his specail day or you could tell him that she is a good friend and she is as important as any other guest tell him if gets to delete someone you want to come then you should do the same and then he will either say no let her come or fine choose someone... i knoe it sounds mean but if you want her to come then you have to do it =D hope you get lucky i'll pray for you
7. if he accepts u for who you are he needs to accept the whole package and not just the bow on top. if u know what i mean by this. this is a really good friend of urs. he needs to have a good reason why not to invite her. i would do it anyway. this is ur day. im sure he could cope with it for a couple of hours. he won't feel bad on the wedding day cause he'll be looking at you and not everyone else. tell him to get over it.
8. What are you some kind of a coward? Stand up for yourself. why doesn't he want her there? Maybe he tried to hit on her and she rejected him? Either way if she is such a good friend to you then you should just tell him she's coming and that's that!
9. he fancies her-SIMPLE AS THAT! wth are yu gerrin married for??? use the money+get property marraige aint what it used 2b its your weddin YOU INVITE WHO YOU WANT-TAKE CACK FROM HIM NOW-ULL BE TAKIN IT THE REST OF YER LIFE
10. In my personal opinion, I believe you should stand your ground. Does he seem like a control freak to you?
11. I would tell him to get over it. If she is your friend then by all means she should be there. I can not stand my wifes best friend. She is annoying to me and I haven't liked her from the first time I met her, but, she was my wifes maid of honor and she did do A LOT to help my wife out during our wedding. Just because I don't like her didn't mean I can't get along with her while she is around. So I think that if your boyfriend really loves you, he should be able to suck it up for at least a day.
12. My fiance doesn't want to invite his friends gf but i convinced him that we would just be there for a short time and we wouldn't even notice anyone there. We would be too wrapped up in each other anyway. He still is not thrilled but we are inviting them both.
13. Have you talked to your friend about it? after all a 'good friend' should know the situation that you have been put in, difficult it maybe, but at least YOU will gain a friend that will respect you even more than they do now. Have you not asked why your partner doesn't want them there?, dictatorship doesn't make for a good start.
14. Tell him that it's your wedding as well and this is a very good friend of yours, tell him there has to be a much better reason for him to not want her to attend. Do not put his feelings above all, because yours will be neglected in the process. If you can't come to a compromise on this one little thing then maybe it's time to re-think getting married until you can agree on simple things.
15. Your soon to be husband has to realize that you are your own woman and you control what is in your pants so if she is doing her thing you are only for him. And you had a life before him or you to completely for get it. I am pretty sure he has some friends who are out there they are men they have some secrets. Just reassure him you are to be trusted. because I have a few friends who are s l u t s but my husband trust me I come home to him.
16. You need to take a stand right now. IF you see nothing wrong and he cannot give some concrete reason for not wanting her it becomes a question of is he going to controll your life or are you? Is he going to choose your friends or are you? Is he going to be telling you how to live your life or are you going to live your own life yourself? This is the time to establish things rignt now. Now you say she is flirty and has cheated. Is it possible that she has come on to him, or that he hopes/fears that she will?
17. Fiance before friends, honey!! He will be vowing to be with you forever on your wedding day and you dont want him to be upset about your friend being there do you? You should do what he wants, really. I am not telling you to be submissive to him, just let him be totally happy on your wedding day!!