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How do I respond to this one for my wedding list???

Okay so I had this friend that was pretty close up until recently. To make a VERY long story short, we just don't talk anymore. Plain and simple. We may email a few time, maybe a forwarded email or something but that is it. Originally she was supposed to be in the bridal party but never came to any of the endless fittings / dress selection dates. Needless to say she isn't in the wedding party and has asked me twice if she is invited to the wedding. She isn't. So how do I respond to her without being nasty? I was thinking of something short, simple and sweet but can't find the right words. I don't have any hard feelings towards her and wish her the best, but I think it's time for us to go our separate ways. Oh I didn't cut her from the wedding party... That was strictly her decision.

Public Comments

  1. It's kind of rough to cut someone from your bridal party -- and cut them from the wedding COMPLETELY. Given the situation described, I would say that you can tell her in a million different, polite, diplomatic ways and she will always feel that you are being nasty. Sorry, just one of those times in life when it's a lose-lose situation. I don't envy you - good luck with however you decide to handle it! Edit: Okay, I'm glad you didn't just drop her like a hot potato! But even if she left the bridal party of her own accord, she'll find cause to say that you're nasty (not that she's RIGHT). I agree that you don't need to have her there if you don't want to, but there's not going to be a way to do it without hard feelings, especially since she WAS in the bridal party at some point in time.
  2. I think you just answered this for yourself "I don't have any hard feelings towards you and I wish her the best, but I think it's time for us to go our separate ways" Short sweat and to the point. This happend A LOT with girls!
  3. Your last statement is perfect, use that. I agree with you, sometimes, enough is enough. You make friends and sometimes it just fizzles out. There is nothing wrong with that. And to invite her just because, would just perpetuate the situation. Be open and honest, in the end, it will probably he healthier for the both of you.
  4. say that you just couldn't invite everyone you wanted to.... there wasn't enough room or there wasn't enough budget... she will probably stop bothering you then
  5. I think it is totally acceptable to say just that...I wish you the best and I think you are a great person, but I just think it is time for us to go our separate ways.
  6. Either way, no matter what you say...its gonna hurt her feelings. But hey....BRIDE TO BE....what about YOUR feelings. I just had the same thing happen, my maid of honor did the same thing to me. And guess what...NO she's NOT invited to the wedding and if that hurts her feels...so be it.... I would simple say "No I am only inviting close friends and family" Because she's not either of them or she would NOT have done what she did to YOU....
  7. Tell her since she didn't come to any of the dress fittings you assumed she would not be attending the wedding so you did not include her in the seating arrangements or the food order for the caterer( this is very important if you are paying per plate). You just can't add any more people at this time
  8. Straight forward is always the best. Tell her no, she shouldn't expect an invitationand you are sorry, but it's time to move on and hope that her life brings good things.
  9. Well, she didn't show up to the fittings, why is she now worried about being invited to the wedding? I would just say, what you wrote in the very last sentence of your question, about no hard feelings,ect..
  10. I would take the easy way out and just not send the wedding invite. If she already knows the place and the date and just shows up let it be. If she wants to go bad enough to show up without an invite then she deserves to go.
  11. i had a friend who was close but became a bit bitter towards me as im getting married. so she isnt a bridesmaid What you could say is due to amount of people we have invited and are seating we cannot invite any more unless people drop out so im afraid you cannot come to wedding. but are most welcome to the evening. Hope to see you there take care or something like that anyway
  12. Oh my dear, Jenn, now I do feel your pain. I would just say something simple, short and sweet, such as, "My dear friend. I am so sorry you decided not to participate in the bridal party, and I truly understand your decision. Now, I must say something that is very difficult, and I am sure you will understand. I can only invite a very limited number of guests to my wedding, and had to trim down to my very closest family and friends. So sorry, that I will not be able to invite you to the wedding, but do keep in touch. Your friendship has meant a lot to me. Warmly, JennJenn" How does that sound?
  13. I would be honest with her and tell her why she's not invited to the wedding. I wouldn't be mean or cruel about it but I wouldn't lie either. Just be courteous and polite and tell her she isn't invited to the wedding because you are only inviting family and close friends. As the two of you have drifted apart over the years you just didn't feel comfortable inviting her to the wedding.
  14. There is no easy way to settle this. I would just be honest. I would tell her that she was suppose to be in the wedding party, but she didn't want any part of that, so everyone assumed she didn't want anything to do with the wedding at all, so she was never put on the guest list, which has been finalized. If she gets upset, she has only herself to blame. Like you said, it's time for the two of you to go your separate ways.
  15. Just shoot her a note that says, with the tension around the bridal party and you being in or out, I decided it would be best to not invite. I don't want any bad feelings - but I just don't want any of that stress to touch my wedding day.
  16. That is a tough situation! What I find amazing is that considering you and this girl are no longer friends, she still wants to know if she's invited to your wedding. I would simply stop talking to her and let it go at that. She'll get the hint.
  17. if there are no hard feelings, why uninvite her from the wedding?
  18. well i find it kind of odd that she was in the wedding party and now she is not even invited......i think you do have some kind of feelings about it. what are you gonna say besides you wish her the best but it is time to part ways.
  19. Be truthful and honest and hope for the best. It will probably hurt her. It is never a good feeling to hear someone doesn't want to be your friend anymore, but it is how it is. Modern Wedding Advice http://navillus99.blogspot.com
  20. So why not invite her to the wedding. Chances she will not come.
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