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Help! wedding shower etiquette!!?

what's the etiquette here? It's my first and hopefully only marriage. Do i have to invite all females on wedding list?? I just dont want my friend to have to pay too much here... I wanted small but I dont know if that's possible without leaving people out and then feeling bad... help!! I know I am not inviting... DUH... but how is my friend supposed to know WHO to invite if I dont give a list of addresses??

Public Comments

The proper etiquette is that you do not do the inviting to the shower. Your maid/matron of honor does. She decides how many people she can handle, then you pick which ones.
you can make it small and only invite your closet friends and family. people will understand.... is is YOUR WEDDING.
Just invite those who are important to you. Maybe close family and friends. I'm sure people will understand, they'll just be glad they're being invited to the wedding.
I thought it was only supposed to be women who are close to you, but my sister in law(who was helping plan and pay for the shower) told me I really should invite every woman because otherwise they will feel left out, especially older women since traditionally every woman was invited and they've since gotten smaller...so they invited everyone. My shower was last Sunday and they did a fantastic job too I must say!
Nah, dont invite all the females on the wedding list. Just invite all bridesmaids, female family members, and close friends. Others like coworkers or casual friends, or wives of your husbands friends, dont need to be invited. (And probably... they dont really want to go) I always think a shower should be a small, intimate event because it is more comfortable and fun that way! There were 10 guests at my shower and it was perfect. But thats just me. Ive been to showers where 50 or more ladies were there.
You do not have to invite every female on the wedding guest list. Normally the shower is for close friends and family. The wedding guest list often includes extended family and acquaintances that really don't need to be invited to the shower. Have a great time and enjoy!
A wedding shower is a fun time of friends getting together to bless you. You can never have too many guests! If a few of your friends do it together it shouldn't cost much. Simple finger foods and a pretty cake is all it takes to have a great shower. Congrats and good luck!!
You can ask that only close friends and family be invited to the shower. Yes etiquette states you are not the one planning and shouldn't be inviting people, blah, blah, but come on, it's your shower. You can invite just close family and friends. Every female invited to the wedding does not have to be invited to your shower. Having been to countless weddings and showers, I actually welcome not attending yet another shower and just celebrating with the couple on their wedding day.
You don't have to invite every female on the guest list. I've been to a lot of showers that were only for very close friends and family. Good luck
I didn't have a shower, but my sisters did, and I was involved in planning theirs. What they did is invite everyone off their "A" guest list. Those are the people who are closest to you - aunts, cousins, family and friends. The "B" wedding guest list was people who they would like to have at their wedding, but wouldn't be devastated if they couldn't come - co-workers from a previous job who they only saw every once in a while, or the old high school friend who you lost touch with while in college, and only see once a month for dinner with a group of friends. The "C" list are those who you could take or leave... it's nice to invite them to your wedding, but you don't want to look like you're looking for another gift. We called these people the 'fillers'. The banquet hall had a minimum price to pay based on XXX people. If the "A" and "B" list people didn't get you to XXX, then you started inviting the "C" people. Good luck, and Congratulations!
There IS an etiquette that says you shouldn't invite anyone who is not invited to the wedding. But just because you shouldn't invite anyone you are not inviting to the wedding, doesn't mean you have to invite everyone who is.
truckerboy33 is correct - the shower is the responsibility of the maid/matron of honor. normally, at most, the invitees are your closest female friends, your mom, your mom-in-law-to-be, your female siblings and your hubby-to-be female siblings. it is also possible to have more than one shower: a work shower (which usually has guysand gals and is a bit more subdued), a friends shower and a family shower. that's what my better half had...
Hi and congratulations! NO, you do not invite everyone on your list. If this is your only shower, then you will want to invite family and friends. Some people split up their showers to have a family only shower, a friends only shower, etc. But there is nothing wrong with inviting everyone to 1 shower if that is all you are having. I would invite only close family and friends. You don't need to invite all the women on the list. Good luck and have fun!
You've got it backwards. You do not have to invite everyone on the wedding guest list to the shower but you have to invite everyone who was invited to the shower to the wedding.
A shower is special kind of party for the purpose of showering some needy person (ALL brides and moms2B are needy) with gifts. You never host a shower for someone in your own family because it looks too much like greed, however you can "help" the host by paying for party goods and refreshments, by preparing the decor and so on. Traditionally, showers are small and very casual affairs where many of the guests already know each other. The main entertainment is silly games with sillier prizes and light refreshments like cookies and punch or pretzels and beer. It's only the last 10 years or so that I've been hearing about showers of a very different sort. These showers are in rented halls with catered sit down suppers and even hired entertainment. The guest lists are often very extensive, some so huge as to include every female invited to the wedding. In my opinion this sort of thing is motivated by either (1) an attempt to get fancier, more expensive gifts by giving a fancier, more expensive party, or (2) a naive trust in advice from The Wedding Industry, that insidious source of dis-information designed to get people to spend more money. As a bride, your role is to be a gracious and helpful guest of honor for whoever is kind enough to give you a shower. I suggest you urge any such kind person to keep the shower small and informal instead of turning into some sort of overdone mini-reception for ladies only. If several people want to give you showers, this is not incorrect. However these various hosts should avoid guest overlap; that is, a person is invited to the "people from work" shower should not also be invited to the "people from church" shower. Believe it or not, people are more likely to resent being invited to a shower than to resent NOT being invited. In the weeks leading up to a wedding, friends of the couple can come to feel that they are being treated as ATM machines, expected to give gifts for engagement, shower, staggette, and other events as well as for the wedding itself.
Usually it's the ladies from the families first - mothers, sisters, aunties, grandmas; close friends of the bride, close female friends/neighbors of the moms... depending upon the size of the event.
Only close family and friends should be invited.
Invite people who won't have to travel too far to come. And all those obvious close people in your life. Believe me, no one is going to hold a grudge if they aren't invited. No one looks forward to the shower like they do the wedding.