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One twin is jealous of the other...What should I do?

Okay I am a single mother of twin boys Joshua and Daren who are 12 yr old, well the thing is Joshua (who looks 15) is a lot more mature physically, mentally and socially than Daren is and Daren is hurt and jealous that josh doesn't spend any voluntary time with him. It all started when they were six, they were in separate classes and Daren was very hurt that Josh had new friends, well Josh got invited to a party and Daren wasn't. I sat down with them and chatted about it Josh was so excited but Daren was mad and jealous, he insisted that it was not fair and that Josh shouldn't get to go, Josh yelled I'M Going and Daren hit him well of course I spanked Daren and told him that he was not the boss of Josh and that Josh was indeed going, he cried, kicked and screamed but I stayed consistent and I let Josh go Daren never got any invites anywhere and Josh kept getting them ever since then Daren has been jealous of Josh and hurt that they were not as close anymore. Now fast forward to the current time. You see now it is worse, Josh is popular, Daren only has one on and off friend that is rude, and Josh is athletic and has all A's, Daren has bad grades. Now for a long time they were sharing a room until a week ago, you see I have a 2 bedroom house with 2 and a half bathrooms and a room meant to be a den (with a regular room door and a full bathroom) was used as my clutter room it is the biggest room in the house, well last month Daren was at my parents house I let him go somewhere because Josh goes places without him all the time, I was shopping and Josh was Home. Well while I was gone Josh decided to clean the clutter room he took old boxes out of the garage and put all of my important papers in them, then he put everything that was ripped or broken including two old desks that were in bad shape and put them on the side of the road, he then vacumed the room and dusted and then when I got home he showed me what he had done. I inspected everything and he then asked me could he move into the room and make it his, I said yes because he did the work that no one else would do and began to help him move his bedroom furniture into the room. Well when Daren came home I filled him in, but instead of being happy that he had his own room he was more mad and jealous that Josh was getting the big room instead of himself (Daren is older) Josh just walked out and went in his New room, I told Daren that although he is older Josh did the work and I was not going to let Daren benifit from Josh's effort, he was mad and just yelled but I sent him to his room. another thing is that Josh and his group of 6 best friends including the boy who invited him to his bday party when they were six, have this lawn mowing business, they mow lawns in upscale neighborhoods for a much lower price than pros would charge, well on top of his allowance of 15 dollars a week he earns about 200 bucks a month on cutting grass, so he has a lot more money than Daren, and unlike Daren pays for most of his own things such as Ipods, cell phone bill, PS3 and even a laptop, Daren does not have a laptop because I can't afford one. One last thing Josh and his group of 6 BFs have this thing where every other weekend they spend the night at each others houses well when it is Josh's turn to host they used to go into the living room but now they go in to Josh's room and leaves Daren by his self, I was going to confront Josh about that but then I realized that Josh is his own person and he shouldn't have to pay for his brothers lack in social skills, but I did tell him that he should set aside some special time for his brother who wants to be with him, but most of the time he just ignores him and leaves him by his self, which makes him feel horrible. What should I do, I don't want to punish Josh for being popular and being an individual or for being good at what he does, but I don't want to continue to let Daren's feelings get hurt over and over again. giving daren more things is not an option nor is making Josh take him everywhere with him, any other suggestions?

Public Comments

1. Oh my gosh you should take to writing stories !
2. Try getting Daren involved in some groups. Find something he likes, maybe not sports, but art or pottery, etc. Whatever works for him. He will make his own friends. Hang in there!