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Please help me.I am so sad.I have my baby shower coming up and I am mad at my husband.Plz help me feel better?

Ok here's what happened.Please, I know its long but hear me out. My husband has made certain huge promises to me about some things in our marriage the knowledge that he's promised me about a couple of things helps me stay sane and trust him(its not about an affair and all its some other things regarding my in-laws etc,some problems we had) Now this might sound silly but what happened what I have a friend whos planning my baby shower.I am 32 wks pregnant.I wanted to have a huge co-ed party at a rented place closeby.The place cost 300 and catering would cost 300.When I told my husband 20 days back I want the baby shower there he said its too expensive and I am crazy to want that.I said then maybe we should have a meet the baby party there.He said yes that would be worth it. He made a promise that he thinks it would be worth it and we could do that..he said have a simple baby shower and later we can have something in that rental place. Now 20 days later when I told him about it,he said no way, I dont want to have the meet the baby party there as you are getting a baby shower now.He's the one paying for the catering which would be about 200 at a friends place where the baby shower is going to be held. Now I felt so bad.I asked him why he promised and he said at that time it was between a baby shower at rental place vs a welcome baby at the rental place but according to me he had said baby shower simple and lavish welcome baby party... So didnt he lie that time? I think he did but his reasoning is as such. 1) I was forcing him for a baby shower in the rental place and so compared to that he felt its more worth having a welcome baby party,so he never lied. 2)He thot there are many people who would come and since there werent too many when we made the baby shower list,he says there arent many so why do another party for the same small group. 3)I am no longer going crazy like I was about the baby shower even the simple one.. My sadness is he lied.He made a false promise. Even if he changed the promise later bcoz of a change in circumstances,its still a lie,right? I am correlating this incident with those big promises he has made in the past. He says this is such a small isolated thing and those are life changing promises so obviously he would never turn around on those...but NOW I feel like can I trust him when he says something. Honestly, I don't care about him not wanting to pay for me etc..I am only angry because he lied or rather promised something and changed it based on the circumstances.I just cannot digest that he made a false promise...

Public Comments

1. the best marriages are based on lies. if your already married and this is the first time hes lied let him slide seriously i think your just hormonal no offense but why worry about such a small pety thing when you guys are having a baby? try to embrace him youll need his hand when your pushing! best of luck
2. Can't blame you for being angry. If he can't keep promises about the small things, how can you expect him to keep the big promises? Also, just because it's a small thing to him, doesn't mean it's small to you. If he thought you were being unreasonable or thought something should change after getting more info on the situation he should have brought it up at that time.
3. I hope you can climb down off the ceiling and look at this situation without anger. Pregnancy is heavily involved with hormones. You can react much more strongly to something than you ordinarily would. You know within yourself that you're thinking and behaving oddly, but you can't help it. A huge baby shower at a rented hall, with expensive catering, would probably come off as greedy. I think it's better that you're having a smaller party at a friend's place. Two hundred bucks for food and drink is already a lot to spend. After your baby is born, you will probably be very tired a lot of the time. Recovering from childbirth is rather like recovering from surgery. You're basically well, but your body has a lot of repair work to do. If you don't allow yourself to rest, the process might go badly, and will definitely take longer. Of course, you'll need to get up several times during the night when the baby cries, to feed him or her and change the diaper. You grow "mother's ears" and every peep the baby makes puts you on alert. It's hard to relax and rest. Most of your friends and relatives will be considerate, but some of them will want to barge in to visit just when you and the baby are dropping off to sleep. You have to be firm, even tell little white lies about how you're not feeling up to it. Then mention something like "Sunday afternoon we'll be home -- why not drop by FOR A FEW MINUTES then?" Visitors will be a lot easier to cope with when you're in your own home and there are just a few of them. You can toddle off to bed, saying that your energy has just given out -- nice to see you, talk to you later, etc. So, my advice: Forgive your husband for changing his mind because he saw changed circumstances. Be happy with your nice, cozy baby shower at your friend's house. And forget about any "Meet the Baby" party. You'll be much better off managing visitors a few at a time, on your own terms, and the baby won't be exposed to winter weather and gazillions of germs. Hey, here's hoping that everything will go smoothly, and you get lots of joy with your new baby.
4. i don't feel like your husband lied to you at all.. It seems like a simple misunderstanding to me. I agree that a simple baby shower wouldn't cost 200$ for catering but rather would be simple, in order to provide for the nice welcome baby party at the rental place.My baby shower had 16 guests which I thought was quite a few, we had party platters from local stores and from chick-fil-a and spent only about $80 and I didn't even consider that to be simple. I think you should just sit down with your husband and have a nice talk with him and try to sort things out--I am sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings or lie to you and it sounds like it's just as simple as miscommunication.
5. you two had what seems like a simple misunderstanding. you honestly think that having your husband pay $600 for a baby shower sounds like a good idea? you cant be serious! and besides that, the mother to be is not supposed to throw herself a shower. how incredibly tacky. maybe he thought it sounded like a good idea at the time, and now that he thinks about it realizes that its not. and no, if circumstances change it is not a lie. you are acting like a 2 year old