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How do you throw a baby shower shared between both sides of divorced family?

My older sister is having her first child in february of next year. I am attempting to start planning a baby shower for her but there's one huge problem. My mother and father were divorced a long time ago and still hold a grudge towards eachother to this day. I want to incorporate both sides of our family into the baby shower guest list but I have no idea how I can make this a pleasant day with no conflict between members of the opposite side of the families. I have a large home with my mother in which I am planning to have the shower at. How am I supposed to have my father's family here and make it comfortable enough for everyone to enjoy? I am willing to take any kind of advice from someone who has had a similar problem. I have never been to a baby shower where the grandparents aren't married to eachother still so I really don't have a clue. PLEASE GIVE ME IDEAS!!! thankss.

Public Comments

1. Two showers! Enough said!
2. Just have 2 baby showers. Two parties are better than one so why not
3. if two showers is not an option, then have it on nuetral ground..... no your house, maybe at a church or rec center...ywca..
4. Serious Answer: Ask both sides of the family if they can put their differences aside for a couple of hours for the sake of their daughter. If they say yes SERVE NO ALCOHOL at the event,and tell them that the second they start feeling uncomfortable or angry it is OK to leave, no questions will be asked or accusations made. Silly Answer: Never, Never, NEVER throw a baby shower! What if the baby is still in it? It could get hurt!!
5. First do not have it at your moms home. Try some place like Ponderosa or a local buffet restaurant. The reason in your mom's home it is her territory and her side of the family 'stomping grounds'. Second if you are in a public place the parties are going to be more civil not wanting to make a seen or end up in jail if the police are called. I did this at the Ponderosa which is a steak and buffet restaurant in our area. The restaurant was able to give us a side area where we could set up and the family was happy as they were able to pick and choose what to eat, we were also given a special rate for the crowd and it came in about the same as having all the food made up and brought in. The family was a bit rowdy and the public location kept the mom from hearing arguments and stressing and the family came some made it short, some stayed longer.
6. Have it anyhow. Invite everyone. If there are specific people who you think might be a problem, speak to them individually and ask that they remember that they are there for your older sister, to celebrate, not to rehash or open old wounds. IF there should be any conflicts, take the offender aside and quietly ask them to leave. You are all adults. I think they can act like it for a few hours for your sister's sake.
7. I say as them being ADULTS, they need to act as adult and stop pointing the blame games on each others like they are still teenagers. They need to let go the difference to better their children's lives. I say ask your sister who she wants at her party. tell her to make a list of who she wants at her shower. invite them and tell them that to please avoid all drama for the sake of this child.
8. Just because your parents don't get along doesn't mean the extended families will be rude to one another and if you really think they will then I would say they are extremely immature because the shower is about your sister. I don't like or get along with my grandparents but I was polite and courteous with them for my cousin's wedding and invited my grandmother into my home for my cousin's baby shower. Adults should act as such... If it REALLY won't work... Throw 2 showers, or even throw 1 shower (at a neutral location) with 1 side of the family during 1 time slot, and send out invitations to the other side starting about 45 minutes after the first side. That gives time for people to leave, and you to clean up and freshen the party location. My friend did the above mentioned type of shower and it worked out. She has 2 different groups of friends AND family that don't like one another... People with enough maturity to respect HER were allowed to stay longer. Hope it works and good luck!!! By the way, congrats Auntie!!!