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ADVICE PLEASE! My Husband is self-employed and hasn't made any money in 3 years!?

My husband and I have been married almost 3 years now. I love him with all my heart, he is wonderful and kind. The problem is he is in the real estate industry (you all know how bad that is) and hasn't made any money since we've been married. He wasn't selling any houses so he decided to get certified in property management - spent $1000 dollars on these courses, licensing, not to mention he keeps his real estate license active so there's all those dues, too. His income is determined by the number of rentals he has, and he charges 10 percent of the rent to manage the properties, for instance if the rental is $1000 a month, he makes $100 off that one property. Then the broker takes 50% off the top, which means he makes $50. Take his gas, office supplies, signs, business cards, and all the other miscellaneous expenses and that leaves him with practically nothing. We did our taxes for 2009 and literally he would have made more money working at Micky D's for minimum wage. I have suggested this to him several times and he will not hear of it. He seems to think that given enough time his time is better spent looking for new properties to rent. But I ask him how much time a day does he do that and he doesn't! He is so busy taking and returning phone calls, showing property, and taking care of all the financial stuff he claims he doesn't have time. I have offered to help him in any way I can - stuff envelopes, make phone calls, whatever, but when he comes home all he wants to do is play this stupid online game. I work full time plus I have a split schedule that is inconsistent *some days I work 9-3 and then 5-9, some days I work 7-12. So I can't get another job, otherwise I would. We have $10,000 in credit card debt alone, plus about $5000 in loans. I'm feeling so FRUSTRATED! I feel like I have no options. There are things I'd like to do, like fix up the house or have a baby, or further my education, but my entire paycheck is spent on bills and we still don't have enough for food, or gas or other things we need. What do I do????????

Public Comments

1. You must insist that he find a way to bring in an income. Leave it up to him how he does this, but tell him that stress over money is affecting your relationship and that you don't feel it's fair to be the only breadwinner. Give him a deadline: Six months to start pulling his weight, and then you will have to consider your options. Cut up your credit cards....and hire a financial counselor. Ask him to come along, and when he sees that in 5 years making minimum payments, that 10 grand will turn into 50+....maybe he'll get scared enough to get a job.
2. Well he needs to at least get a pt job to help out, he is being selfish. He can do real estate part time and work at a real job part time. I realize he does not want to get out of the real estate industry because it would be hard to get back in but perhaps he is just terrible at it. I know people who do real estate and sure they aren't banking like they were some years ago but they still make money to support themselves.
3. I think you could stand to speak with a professional about this. It may be that he genuinely believes the market will turn and money will start flowing in. It's not a bad idea to keep his options open by paying his dues but you can't eat that. A professional might show him a way to keep the things he wants but motivate him to get other areas of his debt and life tidied up. A certified financial planner, a career counselor or even a health and well being counselor that should be available through your local health clinic. You should start there and they can recommend any or all of these services for free. Good luck!
4. Tough one.. He doesn't seem open to the idea of changing and contributing to the house income. He's being very selfish to make you support you both. The good news is that you are smart enough to not add a child into the mix. I guess just keep talking to him, maybe show him on paper what the monthly budget is, what your paying and what he's paying and hopefully he will see the error of his stubborn thinking. He can always go back to real estate when the market picks back up
5. The real estate market is not what it was 5 years ago, and I Seriously doubt you'll see any meaningful recovery this decade. Property management, Commercial rel estate is even worse off. You both sound young...and now is the time to change professions. He could easily learn how to prepare taxes and work PT to start at HR Block, if he was more ambitious, he should consider law school or other profession. You won't make any money in real estate.
6. This may be a self esteem issue for him, so take that into consideration too. On the face of it, he is "playing office". There is money to be made in real estate, but he doesn't sound very good at it, to be honest. Maybe see if he can work for a title company, or something related to the industry, but ya gotta do something. Most of the advice given already is good. That debt will kill you.