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"Honey, not tonight, I'm too tired!"?

Married over 20 years. We have been each others only lovers. Two kids, in high school. My sex drive seems to be on the rise, hers is as it has always been, very low. So the question is what to do? We don't really talk much about sex/love. I feel that there is so much we could have together. She isn't interested in the morning (exercise comes first), too tired at night (working all day, homework help, house, more exercise at night, soduko, reading books) Geez - I feel that I have failed to create any sort of romance. I know she still loves me, but love is so low down on the daily list it just nevers gets to be the number one item. We have started to discuss this but it just doesn't seem that important to her.

Public Comments

1. take her ona romantic get away where there is NO WORK/KIDS etc. just the two of you. It may have been so long that she has forgotten what it is like to be a couple.
2. I'm sorry to hear that. That really sucks and tends to be the detriment of a marriage. Is she on any medication? that can affect her libido..If you can't resolve this issue. perhaps you and her should go to a therapist.
3. Try different things from your end. Toys, role playing, a little tongue-in-cheek excercises, etc. Find out what drives her nuts, every woman has something that does, and be prepared to do it. It may be something you never considered, but keep an open mind about it.
4. You should seek professional help..... if she really "loves" you as she claims to do, she would want to work things out, since this is important to you.... isn't that what love is supposed to be all about???????
5. go for vacation and renew your spirit
6. Then you need to discuss it again and stress to her the importance of having a "sexual" relationship as well as an "emotional" relationship. Tell her how much you miss this closeness with her. It is not fair of her to just disregard your feelings and toss them aside... If her sex drive is that low and she shows no interest at all, I think she needs to talk to her Doctor.... It's normal to be tired after having a long day of kids, work, homework, etc.... I get all that... but "private" time should still be made for the two.
7. How old are you? Maybe she's losing estrogen, which lowers sex drive. Do you have kids? Do you help with them so she's not so tired? Do you help with housework? Women get tired, you know. we're not machines. Make a date with her, go to dinner, come home (alone, no kids) open a bottle of wine, talk about the old days... You need to put each other first, for a change. Good luck. I hope it works for you.
8. you need change.
9. Yeah my 1st wife was like that. Sex wasn't important to her and she only wanted it evey couple months. Asked her if the sex was good she always said yes but she said it just isn't important to her. So if everything else is great in the marriage and u truly lover just keep talking to her pointing out 1 a week would be nice, and if u don't help around the house then start, that might help 2
10. are you religious? Pray. Wait. Think about how you ever attracted her at the beginning (not marriage) when you were still dating. also try to also occupy yourself (like she has done) with other interests that may also reduce your own thoughts about sex.
11. Start with this...suprise her, get a babysitter, take her on a weekend getaway. Dont try to jump right in bed with her, maybe get massage and relax in the hot tub. Talk about your needs and desires. Be very open about your sexual frustration. It is good you started to communicate. keep the lines open. Be sure to compliment her daily. Tyr to spice up the way you touch her. When you walk by her in the middle of the day just give her a kiss or caress her. Show little types of affection troughout the day. You could start a night out once a week for the two of you. A time to talk, rekindle, enjoy each other. Change is GOOD! Change it up! Good Luck! Post another questin if you need my help :)
12. I have been married 22 year. Your marriage sounds just like mine. I love my husband so much, but he has always had a higher sex drive than me. I think it is because I have always been the one to take care of the kids, house, bills, etc. that I really am more worn out than he is at night. He also gets up at 3:30 in am to go to work, so morning is way out. Try not focusing on the sex part too much and just act more loving toward her. Rub her back, touch her face, hold her hand, hug her without groping, etc. Women (I) need to connect with the loving side on intimacy, not just feel like you want to "get down to it". The closer you make her feel to you emotionally, the more she will want to make love with you. Good Luck!