Latest Lists

Hey, story for english?

Hey i have to do a short story for ebglish based on a song, The song i picked was Untitled by Simple Plan. This is what i have got so far, please tell me if it is ok. Thanks. I open my eyes, I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light. I can’t remember how, I can’t remember why I’m lying here tonight. There’s a noise, a loud noise, I don’t know what it is. It’s like someone’s trying to crush the car into a million little pieces. I try to scream, but no sound comes out, just a low gurgling noise and something warm and sticky fills my mouth. I close my eyes and hope it all goes away, the pain, the noise, everything. I just want it to stop! I want it to be over! I hear a scream, it sounds far away. “She’s bleeding! Her mouth is bleeding!” It’s the same person as the one who screamed. The girl’s voice sound familiar but I can’t think of who it is. I take a breath to try and think but know air comes; instead the warm liquid rushes down my throat. I try to think about what the girl had said, suddenly I realise, it’s blood. I try to cough, to get the blood out of my lungs but it doesn’t work, more blood flows down my throat. I can’t breathe! My eyes are getting heavy! I can’t hold on anymore! The pain is leaving my body. “Slow down! You’re going to crash!” screams Becky, but she’s not serious, she’s laughing along with all my friends “Stress less Becky, I’m a pro driver, we’re not going to crash!” I laugh. I turn around to look at my little sister, she looks happy but scared all at the same time. I hear one of my friends scream but I can’t understand what they are saying. I turn back around to watch the road, but it’s already to late. I have veered on to the wrong side of the road and there is a truck coming straight at us. I try to swerve but the truck still hits the back of our car and pushes us down the bank. The car is rolling and I can hear the screams of my friends and my sister. I hit my head on the window and everything goes black. The pain is back. “Becky” I try to say but the words still won’t come, just more blood. I hear someone say internal bleeding, but it means nothing to me. Thanks, its not finished yet. Hey thanks, that is kind of what I was hoping for. Just hope my teacher wont think I am deoressed and get the guidance counsellor on to me. lol.

Public Comments

1. wow that gave me chills. that ending. it makes me want to hearr more. I just love stories like that.
2. Holy crud thats deep and touching! especially the part where she hears internal bleeding but it doesnt mean anything to her. More parts like that and you'll make your teacher cry. lol.
3. i wish i could read that but too bad im only a mexican homephone :(
4. Tis' excellent. Good flow to it.
5. It's fantastic! Congratulations on being such a great writer ;D Minor fixes: 2nd paragraph: realize, not realise 3rd paragraph: Stress less seems kinda... formal-ish and strange. Maybe exchange it with Don't stress? Also, near the end it's "but it's already too late" not "but it's already to late" Good luck finishing it, it's very entertaining :) by the way.... I really doubt your teacher won't think you're depressed. True english/creative writing teachers are extremely open to any kind of writing, morbid or not, so you're good :D After all, it's written in correspondence to a song :p