How do i nicely tell family members they can't keep adding people to the wedding list?
Ok here is what is going on i am getting married next month and certain family members keep calling saying they have people to add to the guest list. Let me explain my fiance family keep calling saying they have other family members to add to list mind you this are people who were not invited in the first place. His grandmothers nephew and his great cousin's were not invited yes his great aunt and uncle were invited but not there kids. My great aunts and uncle on my side were not invited as i don't really know them and just wanted close family and friends to attend. I mean this is a month before the wedding and we have like 10 people who are coming that was not invited. His family says well they were planning on coming to Visit that weekend and no idea the wedding was that day so we just invited them. Ok fine maybe on or two but not ten we are already way over the limit as to how many people we wanted. But then i get yelled out for inviting a close friend who i just started to talk to again. How do i nicely tell them they can't invite anyone else i mean i have a month till the wedding and we keep having to add people when i called the tent company in the begging i just got enough table and chairs for people who were invited knowing that not all will show. Please help this is stressing me out it starting to feel like a family runuion for his family instead of a wedding.
Public Comments
- You simply say that there is a limit on how many people can attend and that it's already at capacity. It's also too close to the date to start rearranging guestlists and adding tables. Also, why are people inviting themselves to visit you on the weekend of your wedding? Time to put your foot down. Tell your fiancee that whoever invited the extra guests now gets to uninvite them and explain that they took liberties without your knowledge.
- A month before the wedding is too late to add to the guest list. All the invitations should have been mailed a month ago and you should be close to a final head count by now. Just come out and tell them that there is no more room and apologize.
- Explain your working on a budget and expanding the guest list is putting a strain on your finances and company's are getting annoyed with the changes you keep having to make and that its not possible to make any more alterations without up setting any more people . explain that you are sorry but you have stretched the guest list as far as it will go and there is even people on your side that have had to be left out . make sure your future husband sticks by you , it should be his job to explain it to his side if he also thinks they are taking the p
- Get your fiance on your side, and go talk to them at the next attempted addition. Tell them the truth, the tent is overcrowded, the caterer is balking at adding more tables, and any more people invited will have to sit outside the tent. And you will not have that happen. Will you have a dance floor? Tell them that it is nearly impossible to dance now, any more guests, and there will be no dancing. If they still do not understand the situation, then invite them to go rent a second tent, and pay for the it and the table and chairs. You could have one tent to eat in, and one to dance/party in, and set up the bar in there. Smile when you say this to them.
- Say that you and your husband to be created a guest list based on what you could afford and were comfortable with and you have reached the maximum number of guests you can invite. Say unless someone gets an invite directly, they are not invited. You might have to tell some of these people directly to ensure the word gets around. It's nice to accommodate a person here or there but I agree it can get out of hand quickly. Best to nip it in the bud sooner than later.
- Both you and your FH need to call your FH’s family and tell them straight up that they CANNOT add people to an already capped and full guest list. Explain to them that while you understand that these people are going to be in town to visit, due to catering, number limits, and financial constraints they cannot come to your wedding. Tell them that is of no offense to them but that you had to draw the line on the guest list somewhere and that this list is no negotiable especially at this point. Apologize to your future in law but be firm. Tell them you are sorry but you just cannot be adding people to the wedding list at this point and they are going to either have to miss out on the festivities and being able to see everyone that weekend or come visit another weekend. People need to accept that there are lines and limits. And once you reach that limit or line it cannot be crossed. If you had invited his great aunt and uncle then his cousins knew about the wedding and are trying to pretend otherwise.
- Learn to say NO. Plain and simple. Good luck
- You can say "I'm sorry, the guest list is set" or simply say "No".
- First of all, you and your FI need to be on the same page. He needs to let his side of the family know that the only people invited are those who received the invitations. He and you should say that you guys are sorry, but while you would like to add these extra people, you cannot accommodate any more guests due to budget and venue. Stay firm on this. If they say that they won't come if their guests can't come, just say, "I'm sorry to hear that, you will be missed." You are not responsible for entertaining guests that your FI's relatives chose to invite to town for the weekend. Inviting people to a party they are not hosting/paying for (presumably) is beyond rude. Also, who yelled at you about inviting your friend? If it is the relatives, they are really overstepping their bounds because if you and FI are putting on the wedding,/reception, you are in control of the guest list. If it's your FI, that's a communication problem. Either way, it goes back to my first point. If you two are not on the same page, you need to do so quickly, and your FI needs to support you rather than having you take the brunt of the criticism and throwing you under the bus. If you can't even agree on this, that doesn't bode well for the future.
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