Latest Lists

What should I do about this wedding guest list stuff?

My fiance's family is wanting to invite about 12 more people than they were allotted. They said they would pay for the overage. but this was supposed to be an intimate wedding... and these people are more close to his sister and mom than he and I. I feel like me asking them to take them out is just asking for trouble. My fiance doesn't even mind or care but I sort of feel like it's not fair. They gave me a list once then gave me the addresses later. The addresses had people added to it... she said she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I know she wants to invite her friends that invited my fiance and I but you know what? They aren't even close to us and the guy is kind of a jerk! I have a feeling that there's not much I can do. I think what bugs me is friends say "you need to take back control!" but is that REALLY how it is? Control? Deep down I feel like it might be best to not have a conflict and they offered to pay for the overage. But it's sort of hurtful in a way. I feel like at the same time, at the end of the day we'll be married at least. But the way I am, I think I'm going to be upset that these people we're not close to are there and I really wanted intimate. I am worried because the way I am is I get upset easily... I worry I'll be in a sour mood (not a bridezilla mood, just a sour mood inside) because of it, and that's silly. I just want to move past this, what should I do? I have heard the guest list is the hardest, is this a normal, average, common problem or what? "This is why I didn't do a big wedding...all this crap and aggravation for nothing!" this is what I wanted... but it seems to be unavoidable in my situation :-( I was upset and expressed this to him but then just told him whatever... upset but whatever. I hope that's ok, I suppose it could be worse? :-|

Public Comments

1. If they are willing to pay the difference then I say go for it. It would not be good to start in his family on the wrong foot. They will think very highly of you accommodating their wishes.
2. They are willing to pay for the inconvenience, so let them. But do not let them invite any more people. That would be rude. It is already rude to invite more than allotted. This marriage is supposed to be built on good intentions, and they are having a bit of a rocky start.
3. It's 12 people they will pay for...just invite them. It's not going to really affect your "big day" and it will promote family harmony in the long run... This is why I didn't do a big wedding...all this crap and aggravation for nothing!
4. i wo uld be nice and tell her if she wants these people to come then she has to uninvite the same amount of people on her side. this is the number your sticking with. See I knew this issue would arrise with my and my husband family so I just had a big big wedding. over 300 guest. everyone was invited i stopped doing head counts and just started telling people to come. But my wedding was far from typical anyways. i mean we had a dunk tank and yard games and moon bounces.. almost a year ago and people are still thanking me for a great time. Freaking crazy fun wedding!